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An animal has attacked a child. It's very important to the world that you immediately express a bad opinion online.
'Sorry, sir, but I had to throw all your t-bone steaks to your dogs so they wouldn't attack me. . . um. . . that'll be $49.71 please. . .'
"To be fair, Martha, you started it."
'Something's come up that isn't covered in the security guard's handbook.'
Bull in field lurking behind tree waiting to ambush ramblers.
'Nothin' to worry about, girly. The sugar will rot all his teeth out by the time he gets to us.'
"I thought being eaten by wolves would be different."
'He must have crept in at night. The important thing is to stay calm.'
"Once again, mere fists and blunt instruments prove no match for one so adept at the marsupial arts."
Tags:marsupial, martial arts, kangaroo, kangaroos, fight, australia, the outback, outback, aussie, aussies, australasia, strong animal, animal, strong animals, animals, mammal, mammals, attack, animal attack, nature, zoo, zoologist, science, scientist, scientists, boxer, boxers, boxing, pugilism, pugilist, pugilists
The lawyers of the jungle
Tags:law of the jungle, jungle, jungles, forest, forests, law, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, law firm, law firms, senior lawyer, senior lawyers, kill, kills, lion kill, lion, lions, leopard, leopards, cheetah, cheetahs, hyena, hyenas, wild animal, wild animals, animal attack, animal attackspun, puns, wordplay, play on words
'Careful, Larry. He gets pretty upset if you trap him in a corner pocket.'
"Sorry, I'm just enjoying the irony for a minute."
'I thought Bill had a bad back.'
'Marm! Do you know anything about an overturned ice cream truck?'
'Hello Al? Open the cabin door.Don't ask me why.'
What animals look like when they're stuffed. What the animals actually looked like.
'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'
'You were attacked by a raccoon? Being feral is so DANGEROUS!'
"You both claim that this is how you found him. Well, I know a cock and bull story when I hear one."
Tags:cock and bull story, cock and bull stories, alibi, alibis, murder scene, murder scenes, murder investigation, murder investigations, crime scene, crime scenes, detective, detectives, animal attack, animal attacks, arrest, arrests, arresting, barnyard animal, barnyard animals, farmer, farmers, animal tracks, idioms, idiom, saying, sayings, expression, expressions
"Run, Fitzsimmons! Run like this!"