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An animal has attacked a child. It's very important to the world that you immediately express a bad opinion online.
'Sorry, sir, but I had to throw all your t-bone steaks to your dogs so they wouldn't attack me. . . um. . . that'll be $49.71 please. . .'
Bull in field lurking behind tree waiting to ambush ramblers.
"You got lucky with that field trip, Phil. But it'll never work a second time."
"Floyd had two loves: Betting on the races and celebrating the holidays. Visiting the dog track dressed up as the Easter Bunny may have seemed a good idea at first..."
Tags:funeral, funerals, death, dead, easter, easter bunny, easter rabbit, race track, race tracks, dog race, dog races, extra crispy, dog, dogs, dog track, gambling, races, dog attack, dog attacks, eulogy, eulogies, obituary, obituaries, mourner, mourners, mourning, animal attacks, dark humor, bad idea, bad ideas
'Nothin' to worry about, girly. The sugar will rot all his teeth out by the time he gets to us.'
"I thought being eaten by wolves would be different."
'He must have crept in at night. The important thing is to stay calm.'
'Careful, Larry. He gets pretty upset if you trap him in a corner pocket.'
'What's a Threrret level?'
"Sorry, I'm just enjoying the irony for a minute."
'I thought Bill had a bad back.'
'Marm! Do you know anything about an overturned ice cream truck?'
'Hello Al? Open the cabin door.Don't ask me why.'
Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'
What animals look like when they're stuffed. What the animals actually looked like.
'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'
'You were attacked by a raccoon? Being feral is so DANGEROUS!'
"You both claim that this is how you found him. Well, I know a cock and bull story when I hear one."
Tags:cock and bull story, cock and bull stories, alibi, alibis, murder scene, murder scenes, murder investigation, murder investigations, crime scene, crime scenes, detective, detectives, animal attack, animal attacks, arrest, arrests, arresting, barnyard animal, barnyard animals, farmer, farmers, animal tracks, idioms, idiom, saying, sayings, expression, expressions
"Run, Fitzsimmons! Run like this!"
Jim will once again attempt to extract the much needed blood sample from the massive, and now agitated disorientated carnivore.
Tags:carnivore, carnivores, predator, predators, big cat, big cats, blood sample, blood samples, blood test, blood tests, safari, safaris, vet, vets, veterinarians, veterinarian, veterinary surgeon, veterinary surgeons, big feline, big felines, animal attack, animal attacks, zoology, zoologist, zoologists
"Thanks again for putting in the doggie door, honey. It sure makes life easier."
Tags:diy project, diy projects, doggie door, doggie dogs, dog door, dog doors, dog flap, dog flaps, reptile, reptiles, snake, snakes, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, animal attack, animal attacks, dangerous animal, dangerous animals, mistake, mistakes, dog owner, dog owners, canine, canines, pet, pets, dog, dogs, pet dog, pet dogs