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'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'
'What do you do with the baby while you're working, Doctor?'
"Mr. Wakefield and Bowser? Or Bowser and Mr. Wakefield?"
'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'
'Is the little rubber ball that's been missing about this big?'
'I've run every labroratory test in the book and I'm happy to tell you that everything came out normal. There's nothing wrong with the bull."
'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'
'When are you going to line your x-ray room with lead, Doctor?'
'Is it an emergency?'
Veterinary drive thrus.
'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...
'Sure I could do it for less, but my philosophy is if I can't make a decent living practising veterinary medicine, then I'll do something else. I could farm!"
'Then, after practicing ten years, I began to realize just how intelligent dogs are."
'I smell anal glands!'
'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Soifer, on the other side of town. He doesn't know much about cats and dogs, but he's GREAT with monkeys!"
Dog Stealing Limb During Surgery.
'Llamas spit, Doctor!'
'It was one of those last resort operations!...
'Can I deduct the bathroom at home? That's where I read my veterinary journals.'
'Please, Mister Dobbs, I have many more calls to make! Try to tel me what's wrong with the cow."
'What kind of write-off can I claim for large animal equipment left behind on calls?'
'I NEVER get stuck in the mud!'
'Did you find a cage for that bird?'