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"Sorry, kiddo. Your old man has to work so you can go to the best drug trials in the country."
"He's pretty good at rote categorization and single-object relational tasks, but he's not so hot at differentiating between representational and associational signs, and he's very weak on syntax."
"More important, however is what I learned about myself."
"And then it hit me: I'm salivating over a goddam bell."
"If only we could get this to work on men's heads."
"They've got me doing cosmetics research."
Why animal testing takes so long.
"Gotta go. I've taken in all the carcinogen exposure I can for one day."
"I go home today. They cured me using this new miracle drug. I'm afraid it'll be years before it's approved for humans."
"I said we need a rhesus monkey for this experiment."
"I plant to use the panic room if things get worse."
"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."
"I thought about escaping too, but I can't give up the constant attention."
"I'm a lab rat, but this doesn't look like any laboratory to me."
"Act confused. They like to feel superior."
Stop Animal Testing
'Sorry, I might be a Guinea Pig, but I'm not game enough to try your wife's experimental cooking...'
'They're going to shut down the FDA. They've been causing cancer in rats.'
Environmentally Sound Management of Biotechnology.
Beagles smoking Cuban Cigars
"What's that funny smell?"
"No thanks. I've started rolling my own"
"Man, I thought we were done scurrying through these dang things."
"Yeah, it's not much of a job. But a degree in 4th Century Etruscan Art can be a little limiting."