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"For our paper anniversary, he's going to assume my share of the national debt."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, old age, old people, ageing, aging, debt, in debt, paper anniversary, first year of marriage, anniversary, anniversaries, gift, gifts, present, presents, national debt
"You missed our anniversary again."
Tags:jail, jails, prison, prisons, incarceration, behind bars, imprisoned, imprisonment, penitentiary, penitentiaries, correctional facility, correctional facilities, dungeon, dungeons, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, punishments, jail cell, jail cells, prison cell, prison cells, cell, cells, cellmate, cellmates, celly, cellie, cellies, relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, friend, friends, friendversary, friendversaries, anniversary, anniversaries, missed, forgot, valentines, valentine's day, romantic, time, calendar, calendars, counting the days
"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."
Tags:midlife crisis, midlife crises, mid-life crisis, mid-life crises, middle age, middle aged, anniversary, anniversaries, ten year anniversary, ten year anniversaries, bike, bikes, motorbike, motorbikes, motorcycle, motorcycles, biker, bikers, biking, age, ages, ageing, aging, mourn, mourns, mourning, grow old, grows old, growing old, lost youth
"Oh, and I've taken the liberty of sending anniversary cards to the axis of evil."
Tags:satan, devil, lucifer, devil, devils, satanic, demon, demons, hades, hell, axis of evil, bush, george w. bush, iran, iraq, north korea, war on terror, cards, card, greeting card, greeting cards, stationary, anniversary, anniversaries, assistant, assistants, personal assistant, personal assistants, administrative assistant, administrative assistants, secretary, secretaries, personal assistant, personal assistants
Kevin's Eleven-Thousandth Day of Being Kevin
Tags:kevin, count, counts, counting, tic, tics, tic mark, tic marks, mark time, marks time, marking time, identity, identities, name, names, tick mark, tick marks, tick, ticks, anniversary, anniversaries, passage of time, passages of time, thirty, thirties, thirtieth birthday, 30th birthday, 30, birthday, birthdays
"A red-figure volute krater attributed to a painter of the Syleus sequence! Maynard, you shouldn't have!"
Tags:gift, gifts, present, presents, connoisseur, connoisseurs, dilettante, dilettantes, volute krater, volute kraters, greek, greeks, greek art, athens, museum piece, museum pieces, mega-rich, ultra-rich, rich, riches, wealthy, ultra wealthy, billionaire, billionaires, ancient art, vase, vases, syleus painter, syleus painters, syleus sequence, art history, art historian, art historians, anniversary, anniversaries, christmas
"It's our anniversary, dummy."
Tags:desert island, desert islands, island, islands, remote island, remote islands, deserted, marooned, anniversary, anniversaries, forget, forgot, forgetful, forgetting your anniversary, forgot your anniversary, relationship, relationships, relationship stereotypes, argument, arguments, arguing, insulting, insults
"Guess who's wearing her anniversary funjams, Freddy?"
"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."
Tags:spouse, spouses, wife, wives, husband, husbands, partners, partner, significant other, significant others, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, long-term relationships, long term relationship, long term relationships, married life, marriage, marriages, domestic, domestic life, happy marriage, reflection, reflections, reminisce, reminiscing, anniversary, anniversaries, wedding anniversary, wedding anniversaries
"An anniversary present? For me? I remembered? Well, thank me very much!"
"It's truly remarkable, Louis, thirty-seven years next Tuesday and never a cross word between us."
"Thanks, it's hard to believe I've been with the company for a hundred and twenty quarters."
"Don't forget—grubs, mites, worms. I want this to be a very special evening."
Tags:bird, birds, couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, birds nest, bird's nest, date night, date nights, dinner party, dinner parties, home cooking, posh food, posh meal, posh meals, anniversary, anniversaries, insect, insects
"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."
Tags:husband, wife, husbands, wives, couple, couples, marriage, married, marry, relationship, relationships, spouse, spouses, nagging, nag, bother, bothering, annoy, annoying, pestering, pester, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, dinner party, dinner, party, parties, guests, guest, friend, friends, anniversary, anniversaries
"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."
Tags:dumpster, dumpsters, cleanout, clean out, clean outs, anniversary, anniversaries, wedding anniversary, wedding anniversaries, clutter, clutters, cluttered, spring clean, spring cleans, spring cleaning, rubbish, junk, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, hoard, hoards, hoarded, old married couple, old married couples, gift idea, gift ideas, present idea, present ideas
"Twenty Seven wonderful years. They don't make gigolos like you anymore."
Tags:gigolo, gigolos, escort, escorts, lover, lovers, young lover, younger lover, younger lovers, love life, commitment, commitments, anniversary, anniversaries, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, lover, lovers, love life, love-life, date, dates, companionship, toy boy, toy boys, committed relationship, committed relationships
"We've been married for twenty-five years. Perhaps we should remove the last remaining can."
Tags:marriage, just married, wedding, weddings, lazy, tin can, tin cans, wedding decor, wedding decoration, wedding decorations, wedding car, can on a string, car, cars, automobile, automobile, vehicle, vehicles, bumper, bumpers, wedding anniversary, anniversary, anniversaries, celebration, prolonged celebration, lazy, laziness, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, nag, nagging
"I guess this makes up for all those months you didn't speak to me."
Tags:pearl, pearls, oyster, oysters, clam, clams, clam up, clams up, clamming up, present, presents, gift, gifts, giving gifts, anniversary, anniversaries, make up, makes up, making up, conflict, conflicts, resolve, resolves, resolving, conflict resolution, counseling, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, couple, couples, married couple, married couples, silent treatment, silence, communication, lack of communication
"None for me, thanks."
Tags:anniversary, anniversaries, diet, diets, dieting, anniversary dinner, anniversary dinners, go out, goes out, going out, omen, omens, bad omen, bad omens, ominous, married life, married lives, matrimony, lose weight, loses weight, losing weight, husband, husbands, wife, wives, first anniversary, 1st anniversary, paper anniversary, cotton anniversary, harbinger, harbingers, celebrate, celebrates, celebrating, celebration, celebrations, gain weight, gains weights, gaining weight, anxiety, anxieties, insecure, insecurity, insecurities
"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."
Tags:outdoors, outdoorsman, outdoorsmen, outdoors man, outdoors men, cabin, cabins, camp, camps, camping, campsite, campsites, vermin, pest, pests, insect, insects, bug, bugs, romance, romantic, getaway, getaways, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, rough it, roughing it, nature, natural world, love, valentine, valentines, valentine's day, valentines day, tick, ticks, discomfort, uncomfortable, anniversary, anniversaries
"I gave my wife a present for our anniversary and she gave me a black eye."
Tags:anniversary gift, anniversary gifts, anniversary, anniversaries, present, presents, gift, gifts, black eye, black eyes, black-eye, black-eyes, anti-aging cream, anti-ageing cream, beauty product, wedding anniversary, wedding anniversaries, husband, husbands, wife, wives, insensitive, ageing, wrinkle, wrinkles
"Thursday makes it ten years. What do you say we renew our merger vows."
'According to my estimation, our anniversary gift is rust.'
Day off for a silver anniversary.
"You bought be a toaster for our anniversary? You shouldn't have...seriously, you shouldn't have!"