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"Gee, Jeffrey, an annual report on our marriage is a novel anniversary gift, but I was hoping for something a little more romantic."
"I gave my wife a present for our anniversary and she gave me a black eye."
"You bought be a toaster for our anniversary? You shouldn't have...seriously, you shouldn't have!"
'According to my estimation, our anniversary gift is rust.'
'Oh good morning dear! I was just slipping out to get you an anniversary gift.'
"What a lovely anniversary present. Your company mug you use for marketing."
"Me? I thougt they were your anniversary surprise!"
"For our anniversary I bought ballroom prancing lessons."
"I thought we said no presents!"
'A gift certificate to get my nails done for an anniversary gift? I'm declawed!'
"I know there's no such thing as a 'Cardboard' anniversary, but I just couldn't resist getting you this box."
'For our anniversary I bought myself a truck, and her a carpet cleaner...which explains my condition.'
"Now, a romantic gift is a new robe and slippers."
"I thought we'd celebrate our anniversary with a little bubbly."
'Instead of flowers, I'm giving you the money to buy any anniversary gift that you want!'
"So to remember his anniversary, Julio order a diamond watch for his wife and had the date engraved on it!"
'Is that your wife's anniversary present?' - 'Yes, it's an annual report on our marriage.'
Happy anniversary! Not perfume again!
Husband gives styrofoam as a gift instead of a diamond.
"I guess the honeymoon's over. My husband got me a gift card for a psychotherapist for our anniversary."