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"An anniversary present? For me? I remembered? Well, thank me very much!"
"Gee, Jeffrey, an annual report on our marriage is a novel anniversary gift, but I was hoping for something a little more romantic."
"Why can't you take out a full-page newspaper ad and tell everyone how happy we are?"
"What a lovely anniversary present. Your company mug you use for marketing."
"I thought we said no presents!"
'For our anniversary I bought myself a truck, and her a carpet cleaner...which explains my condition.'
"I thought we'd celebrate our anniversary with a little bubbly."
'Instead of flowers, I'm giving you the money to buy any anniversary gift that you want!'
'Is that your wife's anniversary present?' - 'Yes, it's an annual report on our marriage.'
'My husband says that for our twenty-fifth anniversary, he's going to spend 25 billable hours on me.'
Happy anniversary! Not perfume again!
"Actually we're only on this cruise because our son pulled off an insurance scam on an anniversary present."
"I guess the honeymoon's over. My husband got me a gift card for a psychotherapist for our anniversary."