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Another Victim of Beach Brain
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"Gee, Jeffrey, an annual report on our marriage is a novel anniversary gift, but I was hoping for something a little more romantic."
Tags:romance, marriage, love, anniversary, modern love, anniversary gift, anniversary gifts, annual report, annual reports, report, reports, romantic gift, romantic gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, anniversary present, anniversary presents, anniversary celebration, anniversary celebrations, milestone, milestones, quarterly report, annual earnings, mankoff
Workaholic Hotline - 'Come on now, you can do it. Just put down those annual reports and slowly back away...'
'In the future, Clayton, always make sure you have your decimal points correctly placed.'
'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'
"The quarterly earnings don't look good. We seem to be in a bit of a slump."
'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'
OK, we do the annual report as a graphic novel, but only if I don't have to read it.'
'It's agreed, Members of the board will not take certain aspects of the annual report too personally.'
'Ms. Snack, this constitutes a masterful use of the English language...'
'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'
'...what's this stuff about the CEO being 'a tragic figure...'?'
'Here, we started to be investigated...'
'I need you to sign and initial both of these. The one on the right is your annual review. The other one is a restraining order.'
'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'
'It's the annual report, Sir. We can't seem to come up with a convincing plot device.'
"He's not much for tearjerkers, but he's required to read the annual report."
'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'
'Hold on ? I have a followup question for you to evade.'
"Let's try it again, sir - but with a tad more conviction when you tell the lies."
"The Annual Report looks good."
'Hidden between the lines of this year's report is the heartwarming tale of a tragically misunderstood company, a malicious attorney general, and the redemptive power of a generous campaign donation!'
'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'
'Don't worry, Mr. Smathers, he'll get on the report as soon as he's finished his poem.'
"Quiet, children...your father is about to read the annual report."