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Never fails. Stay in all week, not one call. Step out for an hour to preach...
'Click-beep-click...you have six new apocalyptic messages.'
'Your call is important to us...but not important encough for us to hire additional staff to talk to you.'
Click...'Heaven is unable to get to the phone at the moment, but if you'd like to leave your prayers at the sound of the tone, they will be answered.'
'This is 911! Sorry we can't take your call right now, our place is on fire!!'
'The person you called may be toying with the olive in her cocktail, please try again later.'