Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
"Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato—how can I help you?"
'This is the voice mailbox of Rip Van Winkle. You have forty seven thousand two hundred and six messages...'
Tags:rip van winkle, story, stories, short story, short stories, time, times, timed, timing, time goes by, time gone by, time going by, aging, aged, answer phone, answer machine, phone, phones, phoned, phoning, message, messages, answerphone, answer phone messages, mailbox, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"You have no new messages."
'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'
Never fails. Stay in all week, not one call. Step out for an hour to preach...
'Stop leaving messages for me you crazy woman! We had one date but I don't want to see you again!! Got it??!' 'He phoned...'
'This is a recording???'
'Law offices...warning: all calls may be recorded for blackmail purposes...'
While You Were Here
Tags:phone message, phone messages, message, messages, phone call, phone calls, answering machine, answering machines, answerphone, answerphones, leave a message, leaves a message, leaving a message, miss out, misses out, missing out, milestone, milestones, checkbox, checkboxes, secretary, secretaries
'This ridiculous recorded message has gone on and on forever and still hasn't told me what number to press for: 'We deliberately ripped you off and now we're going to make it as difficult as possible for you to get your money back'!'
"You have reached the home of Henry and Maureen Wells. If you are selling something, press 1; if you are asking for money, press 2; if you want to talk about phone service, press 3."
Tags:parent, parents, wealthy parent, wealthy parents, message, answering machine, answering machines, answerphone, answerphones, lazy, laziness, phone call, phone calls, landline, landlines, voice mail, voice mails, messages, leave a message, cold call, cold calls, unwanted, undesirable, annoyance, annoyances
Your call is important to us, but not enough to hire additional staff thank you.
"His lordship is unable to answer the phone as he doesn't like to speak with his mouth full..."
"You have reached someone who does not answer the phone after 8 p.m. If this is a matter of life and death, it will likely be resolved by morning."
'You have one new message and three saved messages.'
"Everything I say goes straight to voice mail."
Tags:voicemail, voice mail, message, messages, answering machine, answering machines, answerphone, answerphones, complex, complex, inferiority complex, inferiority complexes, paranoia, paranoid, paranoid delusion, paranoid delusions, delusional, therapist, therapists, therapy, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry
"If you are having trouble landing please press one..."
'Press 1 for classical, press 2 for easy listening or press 3 for jazz.'
'Please hold... we're going for a record on seeing how long customers will wait...'
'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'
'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'
BT Callminder...you have no friends.
"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."
"Hi, this is Felix, I'm out of my office, no wait, I'm back in! Okay I'm out, no, I'm in, out, in, hahahahaha!"
'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'