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Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'
"You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. A lot of parents aren't smart enough to help their 7-year-old with their homework."
Child: 'If I've got five oranges, and you take away two, wouldn't that be stealing Miss?'
Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.
"Well, it's not wrong if you consider the alternative facts."
"Look! I've invented 'numbers' -- Now we can digitize everything!"
'My mother says umpteenth a lot. How much is that?'
'I thought it might be easier if I converted it to text message first.'
'Ten years old is the new five years old, so technically, I shouldn't even be learning this stuff yet.'
"Four closure - think of it as a number with bad credit."
'It says, 'teach me readin' and writin' because I'm sick of 'rithmatic.'
Maths teacher and blackboard.