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"Easy, guys. There's a better way to find out who painted it."
"Your work holds up quite well, Ben."
"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."
"A million ﬁve is the sticker price, so to speak."
"How much more would this be worth if something happened to you?"
"This painting, we're sorry to say, is pure trash."
"Well, this initial test suggests that the authenticity of your Rembrandt may be questionable."
"Sotheby's extends its deepest sympathies and wonders whether the deceased might have owned any early German Expressionist pieces."
"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."
"It's one of those pieces you pay $142.4 million for at auction and then never look at again."
'I suspect, Madam, that this Van Gogh is a forgery.'