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'No, not that! Look over there - I've invented Modern Art.'
The Anatomy Lesson (After Rembrandt)
The Home Birth of Venus
Tags:the birth of venus, sandro botticelli, renaissance art, famous paintings, famous art, italian renaissance, art history, art historians, artists, artist, painter, painters, play on words, play on word, hallucination, hallucinations, sleep walking, sleep walker, middle of the night, vision, visions, venus, greek myths, greek mythology, god, gods, greek gods, inconvenience, inconvenient, in the way, bothersome, annoy, annoying, home birth, home birthing, home births
God Goes Down Low/Adam Is Too Slow
Tags:michelangelo, the creation of adam, adam, genesis, bible story, bible stories, fresco, frescos, ceiling fresco, sistine chapel, down low, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, creation of man, art history, art historian, art historians, religious icon, religious icons
"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."
Tags:hogarth, william hogarth, painter, painters, painting, artist, artists, art, eighteenth-century art, 18th-century art, eighteenth century, rococo, rococo style, shrimp girl, art historian, art historians, art lover, art lovers, shrimp, shrimps, sea-food, shell-fish, bad art, failed paintings, discarded paintings
"Dot for dot, that's a lot of Seurat."
"A red-figure volute krater attributed to a painter of the Syleus sequence! Maynard, you shouldn't have!"
Tags:gift, gifts, present, presents, connoisseur, connoisseurs, dilettante, dilettantes, volute krater, volute kraters, greek, greeks, greek art, athens, museum piece, museum pieces, mega-rich, ultra-rich, rich, riches, wealthy, ultra wealthy, billionaire, billionaires, ancient art, vase, vases, syleus painter, syleus painters, syleus sequence, art history, art historian, art historians, anniversary, anniversaries, christmas
"Of course, art is one thing, dear - life is another."
Nude Defending a Staircase
Tags:marcel duchamp, modernist classic, modernist classics, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, defence, defense, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, trial, trials, public defender, public defenders, famous painting, famous paintings, art history, art historian, art historians, pun, puns, art history
"It's kind of interesting if you step back a bit."
Tags:art critic, art critics, art historian, art historians, art history, art gallery, art galleries, art exhibit, art exhibits, art exhibition, perspective, perspectives, art review, art reviews, abstract art, contemporary art, contemporary artwork, modern art, modern artwork, museum, museums, gallery, galleries
Lesser Known Annunciations
Tags:annunciation, art, art history, art historian, art historians, lesser known, obscure, obscurity, obscurities, lesser-known, unknown, bible story, bible stories, gospel, jesus, jesus christ, announcement, announcements, announcing, messenger, messengers, mundane, rent, rental, rentals, everyday life, bad news, bearer of bad news, bearers of bad news
"He's all right, but I'm looking for a guy who can really make me laugh."
Tags:dates, dating, date, looking for love, looking for a man, looking for a guy, good sense of humour, good sense of humor, painting, paintings, famous painting, famous paintings, girl with a pearl earring, johannes vermeer, grant wood, mona lisa, leonardo da vinci, de vinci, stern, no sense of humour, art, artist, artists, art historian, art historians
"Wait, what if we convinced the jury that, while they're wasting their time with me, the real Socrates is still at large?"
Tags:deceive, deceives, deceiving, deception, deceptions, jury, juries, trial, trials, trial of socrates, trials of socrates, death of socrates, painting, paintings, jaques-louis david, david, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, defense attorney, defense attorneys, painter, painters, art history, art historian, art historians, frame, frames, framing, mislead, misleads, misleading, dishonest, dishonesty
'Rock beats scissors.'
"Mom! You're embarrassing me!"
Tags:mum, mums, mother, mothers, mom, moms, embarrassing mum, embarrassing mums, embarrassing mom, embarrassing moms, embarrassing mother, embarrassing mothers, mother daughter relationship, mother daughter relationships, eighteenth century, the swing, the happy accidents of the swing, jean-honoré fragonard, jean-honore fragonard, fragonard, art, artist, artists, painting, paintings, painter, painters, rococo, rococo art, art historian, art historians, swing, swings, playground, playgrounds
American Gothic: I Love NY
Monet's Last Painting
Tags:monet, oscar-claude monet, claude monet, impressionist, impressionists, landscape, landscapes, artist, artists, painting, paintings, artwork, artworks, pond, ponds, lilypad, lilypads, natural world, frog, frogs, monster, monsters, monster attack, monster attacks, art historian, art historians, art history, lily pad, lily pads, lily-pad, lily-pads
"I just wish I could loosen up like you."
Michelangelo's Parents - 1481
Tags:artist, artists, michaelangelo, michelangelo, parents, parent, parenting, artwork, child genius, child prodigy, child prodigies, child geniuses, renaissance art, renaissance artists, sistine chapel, art historian, art historians, child, kids, painters, painting, genius, geniuses, renaissance, catholic, catholicism, drawing, drawings, draw, draws, career, ambition, ambitions, ambitious
"This piece use to be called 'The Third Denial of Saint Peter', but has since been re-titles 'Accident in the Workplace'."
The Suppressed Paintings of Cavewomen
Tags:caveman, cavemen, cave man, cave men, cavewoman, cavewomen, cave woman, cave women, cave painting, cave paintings, suppress, suppressed, suppression, women's contributions, art history, art historian, art historians, feminist, feminists, feminism, painting, paintings, painter, painters, hunter, hunters, hunter-gatherer, hunter-gatherers, feminism, feminist, feminists
"I said, was it Manet or Monet who had syphilis?"
Tags:syphilis, stds, sexual transmitted disease, sexually transmitted diseases, monet, claude monet, oscar-claude monet, Édouard manet, art history, art historian, art historians, art gallery, art galleries, art exhibit, art exhibits, art exhibitions, faux pas, embarrassing, embarrassment, embarrassments, hearing problem, hearing problems, deaf, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, pensioner, pensioners
The Haberdashery Triptych - the Barneys Collection, New York
Tags:fashion, art, museums, triptych, triptychs, art history, art historian, art historians, painting, paintings, painter, painters, shopping, suit, suits, new suit, new suits, expensive suit, expensive suits, changing room, changing rooms, mirror, mirrors, full length mirror, full length mirrors, shame, sense of shame, fashion advice, uncertain, uncertainty, suit, three piece suit, three piece suits, mankoff
Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.