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Self-Help Books For The Newly Dead
"Still warm. The board of directors couldn't have gone very far."
"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, operation, operations, operating, o.r., o.r.s, or, ors, operating room, operating rooms, operation room, operation rooms, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, smoking, smoke, smoker, smokers, ash, ashes, ashtray, ashtrays, bad habit, bad habits, unhealthy, health, dangerous, risky, medical malpractice, malpractice, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, nicotine, tobacco
Desk bins contain fires to be put out.
"I scattered her ashes. Then I changed my mind."
'It was Bob's last wish to spread his ashes on the spot where he spent most of his athletic career.'
"He's arranged to have his ashes snorted by Keith Richards."
"Her last wishes were that her ashes not leave a mess."
Tags:funeral, funerals, cremation, cremations, crematorium, cremate, crematoriums, cremates, death, deaths, wishes, wish, last wish, last wishes, final, final wish, final wishes, ash, ashes, remain, remains, clean, cleans, cleaner, cleaning, tidy, tidies, mess, messy, vacuum cleaner, vacuum, hoover, vacuum cleaners, vacuums, messed, odd, unusual, end, passing
I can rise from the ashes like a phoenix only so many times!
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, phoenix, myth, myths, legend, legends, ash, ashes, resurrection, resurrections, rise, rising, death, destruction, renewal, revitalisation, revitalization, revitalise, revitalize, reborn, rebirth, self-improvement, self-esteem, self-confidence, change, transformation, psychology, mental health
"If I had it to do over again I definitely wouldn't have been cremated."
'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'
"It's your Grandpa's cocoon."
"He loved New York."
"Don't forget to use the sunblock, Roger. You know how easily you burn."
Tags:bad listener, bad listening, too late, burn, burnt, burned, sunburn, sunburned, sunblock, sunscreen, sun cream, suntan, suntan lotion, lotion, lotions, skin protection, spf, sun, sunny, summer, summertime, forget, forgetful, forgot, cooked, baked, fried, ashes, dead, death, dying, died, die, beach, beaches, tanning, tanned, tan, regret, regrets, regretful
'I've decided I want to be cremated and have my ashes put in a snow globe.'
'Daylight Savings Time claims another victim.'
'When I die please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. Write on the envelope, now you have everything.'
"Whatever isn't cigarette butts in there is Harold."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, dead husband, dead husbands, death, dead, wife, wives, widow, widows, urn, urns, remains, ashes, smoking, smoker, smokers, tobacco, disrespectful, desecration, cremation, unhealthy, bad habit, bad habits
Funeral for a Cartoonist
'My wife insisted this is where I spread her ashes.'
'You are LATE! Your dinner's being cremated in the oven!'
The Pig world's version of a Crematorium using an open-fire Spit to Cremate.
"This is what he would have wanted - he was a total neat freak."
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, ashes, urn, urns, cremation, cremated, remains, mourning, grieving, mourner, mourners, bereaved, last wish, last wishes, neat freak, neat freaks, clean freak, clean freaks, no mess, clean, organised, organized, perfectionist, perfectionists, trash, garbage, rubbish, trash can, trash cans, trash bin, trash bins, garbage can, garbage cans, garbage bin garbage bins, rubbish bin, rubbish bins, dust, dustbin, dustbins
'I told mom and dad we should call a chimney sweep before Christmas!'