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'According to my wife, I snore, and one of these nights I may stop breathing.'
'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'
No, Smith, that's NOT why they're called 'Spreadsheets'.
'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'
Knowing that his post-lunch fatigue was destined to strike, Larry wore his head-mounted airbag.
"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, disagreement, disagreements, conflict, conflicts, asleep, sleeping, dream, dreams, dreaming, talking in your sleep, trial, trials, on trial, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, judge, judges, your honor, your honour, washing the dishes, dishwashing, chore, chores, knife, knives, soaking, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, truth, honest, honesty, confession, confessions, admission, admissions, bed, beds, bedroom scene, bedroom scenes
"He's gonna be in and out for a while, so we should write something funny on his forehead."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medicine, healthcare, health care, patient, patients, coma, comas, unconscious, out cold, knocked out, sleeping, asleep, sick, ill, sickness, illness, bedside manner, fun, funny, prank, pranks, joke, jokes, marker, markers, doodle, doodles, doodling, draw, drawing, drawings, writing, write
'Oh boy, I had the best nap today!'
'Larry, this is me, talking to you. Stop trying to hit the snooze button.'
Coma for twenty years
"It's too late to call them now—they'll be sound asleep. They live in Connecticut!"
"Not me, brother - you wake him!"
Tags:film, films, movie, movies, theatre, theatres, theater, theaters, cinema, cinemas, movie theater, movie theaters, movie theatre, movie theatres, watching a movie, watching a film, the end, death, dead, coincidence, coincidences, wake up, wake-up, waking, sleeping, asleep, heavy sleeper, heavy sleepers
'Did you ever notice that Grandpa grinds his teeth when he sleeps.'
Tags:grandpa, granddad, grandparent, grandparents, tooth, teeth, false teeth, dentures, grind, grinds, grinding, grinded, grinder, grinders, sleep, sleeps, sleeping, sleeper, sleepers, slept, asleep, notice, notices, noticed, noticing, grinding wheel, grinding wheels, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"There is a monster, but it's dead."
Tags:bed, bedroom, sleep, asleep, sleeping, unable to sleep, nightmare, nightmares, monster, monsters, monster under the bed, monsters under the bed, scare, scared, frighten, frightened, dead, death, dream, dreaming, reality, real, unreal, torch, torches, phobia, phobias, dark, darkness, lie, lies, lying, dad, dad jokes, dad joke, teraphobia, reassure, reassurance, calm, calm down, calming down
"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."
After fifteen minutes of inactivity, Ed's operating system automatically returns him to sleep mode.
"It says, 'sorry ... I forgot you're three hours earlier out there'."
Tags:smoke signal, smoke signals, call, calls, early morning calls, communication, message, messages, annoying message, annoying messages, woken up, wake up, time zone, time zones, different time zones, native american, native americans, native american indian, native american indians, indigenous people, couple, couples, partner, partners, asleep, in bed, early morning
A lifeguard whale underwater fails to notice that a whale has beached himself on a nearby beach.
"This is good. If he's asleep it's grounds for an appeal. If he's dead it's a mistrial."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, defence, defense, defendant, defendants, client, clients, sleeping, asleep, appeal, appeals, dead, death, mistrial, mistrials, good news, taking advantage
"I gotta say: I admire his judicial temperament."
"I thought it was just one of those bad dreams, but apparently, honey, we have a kid."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, bed, beds, bedroom, bedrooms, bedtime, sleeping, asleep, dream, dreams, dreaming, nightmare, nightmares, night terror, night terrors, bad dream, bad dreams, waking up, reality, facing reality, real, true, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, in denial, nonacceptance
"I'm sorry, I can't talk to you now, but please leave your name and number after the sound of the tone and I'll call you back a little after twilight!"
Tags:phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, phone call, phone calls, telephone call, telephone calls, voicemail, voicemails, answering machine, answering machines, message, messages, missed call, missed calls, call back, calling back, twilight, night, nighttime, darkness, dark, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, vampire, vampires, coffin, coffins, casket, casket, sleeping, asleep, technology, modern life, halloween, hallowe'en, all hallows eve
"God, these throw-pillows are terrible for smothering."
Tags:mob, mobster, mobsters, mafia, gang, gangster, gangsters, hitman, hitmen, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, murdering, killer, killers, kill, killing, smother, smothering, suffocate, suffocating, death, victim, victims, bed, beds, sleeping, asleep, pillow, pillows, throw-pillow, throw pillow, throw-pillows, throw pillows, cushion, cushions, decorative pillow, decorative pillows, home decor, interior design, useless