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'Hey, wait a second! Aren't we friends on Facebook?! You're Ralph's cousin,right? Yeah, we just friended each other last month.'
Bowling ball ambushed by bowling pins.
Bowling pin line up
"Bad news. The mailman is going to attend the parole-board hearing."
Tags:parole, mailman, mailmen, mail man, mail men, parole hearing, parole hearings, dog, dogs, enemy, enemies, lawyer, lawyers, parole violation, parole violations, assault, assaults, attack, attacks, attacking, canine, canines, hearing, hearings, attorney, attorneys, defense attorney, defense attorneys, inmate, inmates, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners
Welcome To Melbourne: Home of fatal stabbings and serious assaults, we hope and pray you enjoy your stay.
"She cut off his what with a carving knife?"
Tags:bobbitt procedure, bobbittmania, bobbittized punishment, bobbittize, three blind mice, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, mouse, mice, farmer's wife, tail, tails, domestic violence, domestic abuse, assault, assaults
Thank you for not killing me.
Tags:taxi, taxis, taxi driver, taxi drivers, cabby, cabbies, cab driver, cab drivers, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, thank you, thanks yous, thank, thanks, serial killer, serial killers, paranoia, paranoid, worry, worries, worrying, passenger, passengers, ride, rides, riding, assault, assaults, assaulting
'I know...It's so nice to finally be able to leave the kids at home without a babysitter, now that they have the means to keep themselves safe.'
'Oops, my mistake...Carry on, sir.'
"Do I get a pay raise or not?"
"I told you we'd settle this in the parking lot."
'Would you kindly repeat for the judge, who is a lawyer...and for your attorney, who is a lawyer, the lawyer joke that caused my client, who is a lawyer...to punch you in the mouth.'
"Bummer. Let's try the castle down the road."
"And then she slapped my face, injuring my beard."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, suit, suits, meeting, assault, assaulted, offended, offense, beard, beards, facial hair, over reaction, overreaction, over react, overreact, slap, slapped, slapstick, slap stick, physical comedy, wimp, wimpy, victim, fashion victim, injury, injured, absurd, absurdity, fashion, fashionable, men, man, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, breaking up, hipster, hipsters
'It must be your turn to make the tea.'
"Do forgive me, sir. I've been seeing too much gratuitous violence on TV."
Tags:television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., violence, violent, violent tv shows, violent t.v. shows, violent television shows, gratuitous violence, gratuitous, too much violence, entertainment, tackle, tackling, forgive, forgiveness, violence on tv, violence on t.v., violence on television, influence, influenced, tv violence, t.v. violence, television violence, assault, assaults, assaulting, grabbing, attack, attacking, crime, criminal, criminals
"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"
Dollar on the run for devils, zombies and demons.
"Okay, everybody! Time for our mid-battle raffle! And today's winning ticket is...numeral XXVII!"
Tags:battleground, battlegrounds, battle ground, battle grounds, raffle, raffles, lottery, lotteries, siege, sieges, siege tactics, siege tactic, siege warfare, castle, castles, assault, assaults, defender, defenders, warrior, warriors, soldier, soldiers, middle ages, medieval period, winning ticket, winning tickets
'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'
"Quit picking fights with everyone."
Tags:aggressiveness, rage, going postal, discipline, pillow fight, pillow fights, pillow fighting, brawler, brawlers, getting along, office politics, assault, working relationships, working relationship, troublemaker, troublemakers, keeping the peace, management, conflict, losing it, stress, mental health, aggression, battle, picking a fight, bully, bullies, pillow factory, pillow factories
"I was just trying to kick-start the economy. Guess I kicked too hard."
Tags:courtrooms, defendants, courtroom, defendant, defense, kickstart, economy, judges, financial crime, financial crimes, judge, lawyer, witness, testimony, assault, kicking, kicking and screaming, thug, bully, pushy, aggressive, forceful, determined, forest, break and enter, business ethics, corporate ethics, white collar crime, scam artist, financial scam, financial scams
Victor was a victim of his own success - and Arnold from accounting.
Tags:office bully, office bullies, bullies, bullying, assault, abuse, harassment, threats, under pressure, physical violence, colleague, colleagues, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers, victim, bully, pressure, stress, using force, enforcement, undue pressure, success, price of success, boss, money laundering
"Now the teeth! Huge...savage teeth!!"
Tags:police artist, police artists, witness, witnesses, suspect, suspects, dog, dogs, canine, canines, assault, assaults, mailmen, mailmen, mail man, mail men, postmen, postman, post men, post man, delivery men, delivery man, detective, detectives, dog attack, dog attacks, job hazard, job hazards, job risk, job risks, dog bite, dog bites