Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
Letter to Santa, 'Dear Santa, Some Assembly Required. Timmy'
'They're words, Billy, assembly required.'
"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."
Tags:praying mantis, praying mantises, manual labor, manual labour, kill, kills, killing, killings, killer, killers, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, insect, insects, entomology, entomologist, entomologists, married life, marriage, marriages, married lives, useful, techincal, shelving, shelving unit, shelving units, assemble, assembles, assembling, assembly, shelves, build, builds, handyman, handymen
"What the hell is all this?"
'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'
"Of course I'm no expert, but wasn't that supposed to go the other way? I mean, did you even look at the directions?"
"And this is where the magic happens."
Tags:santa, santa claus, santa clause, elves, elf, christmas, christmas elves, christmas elf, present, presents, business, businesses, corporate, mass produce, mass-produce, mass production, production, factory, factories, assembly, assembly line, industrial, industry, social comment, social commentary, critique, capitalism, capitalist, absurd, image flip, flip the image, image inversion, inverted
Having a child who had missed three assemblies wasn't enough to win the respect of the hardmen of prison block 'D'.
'Wow, excellent turnout.'
"Some assembly required."
The speech was almost interesting. People began to sit up and fake interest.
'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'
Working in Synch
Tags:cobbler, cobblers, shoemaker, shoemakers, shoe maker, shoe makers, shoe repair, shoe repairs, elves, elf, assembly line, assembly lines, assembly, factory, factories, shoe, shoes, making shoes, hammering, hammers, hammer, workshop, workshops, out of sync, synchronize, synchronized, rebel, rebels, conform, conformity, nonconformity, individualism, individual, individuality, individualistic, non conformist, workplace, workplace culture, assimilate, assimilation
Homes for sale - some assembly required.
'This kit car had a little more assembly required than I had hoped for.'
'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'
"Next we've got our awards for imperfect attendance."
Tags:attendance record, attendance records, perfect attendance, imperfect attendance, prize, prizes, prize ceremony, prize ceremonies, award ceremony, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, award ceremonies, assembly, pupil, pupils, student, students, truant, truants, truancy, truancies, skiving off, skive, skived, skiver, skivers, dumbing down, dumbed down, dumbing-down, achievement, achievements
Directions: Call a smart friend.
"Let's just go with the open floor plan."
Please leave something easy to assemble.
World Peace - Assembly required
EVE...some assembly required
Tags:adam & eve, adam, eve, bible story, bible stories, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, genesis, torah, torah story, torah stories, bible, biblical, literature, fiction, ribs, rib, assembly, assembly required, instructions, garden of eden, husband, wife, first man, first woman
'Step one: take a good stiff drink.'