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'Strange -- I always thought that thunder sounded like the angels were bowling.'
Tags:storm, storms, stormy, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, cloud, clouds, vacuum, vacuums, vacuuming, vacuumed, hoover, hoovers, hoovered, hoovering, thunder, thunders, boom, booms, booming, boomed, wrong, assume, assumes, assumed, assuming, assumption, assumptions, afterlife, bowling, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'
Tags:pirate, pirates, music, musics, download, downloads, downloading, downloaded, downloader, downloaders, mp3, mp3s, mp3 player, mp3 players, music player, music players, assume, assumes, assuming, assumed, assumption, assumptions, confuse, confused, confusing, confusion, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"
Tags:service man, service men, military service, veteran, veterans, decorated veteran, decorated veterans, war veteran, war veterans, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, medal, medals, decoration, decorations, uniform, uniforms, military man, military men, presumption, presumptions, introduction, introductions, cocktail party, cocktail parties, mankoff
"I think I can speak for an entire generation when I say I'm either in my thirties or in my forties."
Tags:generation, generations, generation x, generation y, millennial, millennials, politician, politicians, political speech, political speeches, speak for a generation, speaking for a generation, generalization, generalizing, generalisation, generalising, speech, speeches, speechwriter, speechwriters, stump speech, stump speeches, hedge your bets, hedging your bets, play it safe, playing it safe, lowest common denominator, risk, risks, risky, safe assumption, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes
"What makes you think any of us around here can read?"
"We will MAKE the problem fit out solution."
Tags:humanitarian aid, cartoonathon, humanitarian work, problem, problems, solution, solutions, solve, solves, problem solver, problem solvers, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming, square peg, round hole, fix, fixes, quick fix, quick fixes, predetermined, analysis, analyze, analyzing, analyse, analysing, analyst, analysts, closeminded, narrowminded, close-minded, narrow-minded
"I don't have a single complaint about my treatment by the media."
Tags:treatment, treatments, media bias, media biases, white male, white males, white man, white men, bigot, bigots, bigoted, perspective, perspectives, hegemony, hegemonic, mainstream media, unfair, fair, fairness, complaint, complaints, complain, complains, complaining, newspaper, newspapers, journalist, journalists, journalism, unfair treatment, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming
"I thought it was a place to pick up some chicks, but NOOOOO!"
Tags:chicken, chickens, chick, chicks, take out, take outs, take away, takeaways, think, thinks, thinking, thunk, thought, thoughts, food, restaurant, restaurants, fast food, date, dates, dating, dated, assume, assumes, assuming, assumption, assumptions, assumed, mistaken, rooster, roosters, pick up, picks up, picking up, picked up
"Oh, and Botticelli. Botticelli would probably have been a great filmmaker."
Tags:botticelli, sandro botticelli, art history, art historian, art historians, adapt, adapts, adaptation, adaptations, producer, producers, hollywood, film, filmmaker, filmmakers, filmmaking, movie business, movie businesses, film industry, movie industry, speculate, speculates, speculating, speculation, baseless, unfounded, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming
"Flowers? That's so arrogant!"
Tags:arrogant, arrogance, presumptuous, presumptuousness, feminist, feminists, feminism, militant, militants, gift, gifts, present, presents, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, gender stereotype, women's lib, women's liberation, bouquet, bouquets, date, dates, dating, modern life, modern times, valentine, valentines, valentine's day, valentines day
"Okay, okay...so the weatherman was right for once."
Tags:rain, rains, rainstorm, rainstorms, storm, storms, weatherman, weathermen, weather man, weather men, prediction, predictions, forecast, forecasts, always wrong, incorrect, preparation, preparations, prepare, prepares, preparing, umbrella, umbrellas, brolly, brollies, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming
'I assume we'll be on the honor system, right?'
"My basic judicial philosophy is 'Guilty.'"
Tags:judge, judges, judicial philosophy, judicial philosophies, guilty, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming, guilt, verdict, verdicts, constitution, constitutional right, trial, trials, fair trial, fair trials, bias, biased, innocent, innocence, assumption of innocence, pre-judge, pre-judges, pre-judging, judgment, judgments, judgement, judgements
"My wife's in the bedroom."
Tags:death, dead, die, dies, dying, grim, grim reaper, reapers, reaper, creepy, married life, wife, wives, husband, husbands, old married couple, tired, sick of, exasperated, diversion, divert, diverting, distract, distracted, distracting, distracts, assume, assumes, assumption, assumptions, rather you than me, rather her than me, rather him than me
"No, I'm not Swiss. Just a bad accident."
Tags:cheese, cheeses, swiss, swiss cheese, swiss cheeses, hole, holes, cheddar, cheddar cheese, cheddar cheeses, accident, accidents, bad accident, bad accidents, drill, drills, drilling, home repair, home repairs, do it yourself, repair, repairs, repairing, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, first glance, first glances, disabled
Thank You God
Tags:desert, thirst, water, dehydrated, water, water biscuit, disappointment, disappoint, disappoints, mislead, misleading, misled, false hope, false hopes, deserts, thirsty, water cracker, water crackers, h20, misread, misreading, misreads, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, false assumption, false assumptions, fine print, reading the fine print
"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."
Tags:preacher, preachers, pastor, pastors, evangelical, evangelicals, church, mass, congregation, congregations, speak in tongues, speaking in tongues, reverend, reverends, services, church service, alabama, alabama accent, alabama accents, southern accent, southern accents, hard-to-understand, difficult to understand, accent, accents, strong accent, strong accents, heavy accent, heavy accents, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes
'I made the mistake of thinking the manager of a Christian bookstore wouldn't have a gun.'
"Years ago, there was only one Santa Claus. Now because of genetic engineering, there can be lots of them."
Tags:christmas, genetic engineering, cloning, street scenes, science, medical, trends, seasons, characters, holidays, clone, clones, santa, santa claus, father christmas, genetic engineer, genetic engineers, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, modern times, modern life, generation z, charity, charities
"Butcher paper! I thought this was just a check up."
A child offers an old man adult diapers in the grocery store.
Tags:generation, generations, generation gap, generation gaps, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, donate, donates, donation, donations, nappy, nappies, sympathy, sympathetic, sympathetic party, sympathetic parties, empathy, empathetic, empathetic party, empathetic parties, awkward, awkwardness, awkward situation, awkward situations, presumptuous, presume, presumes, presumptuousness, incontinent, incontinence, assume, assumes, assumption
"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."
Tags:crystal meth, chemist, chemists, chemistry teacher, chemistry teachers, student, students, chemistry, teacher, teachers, teaching, high school, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv series, tv series, television, televisions shows, tvs, marathon, marathons, binge watch, binge watches, binge watching, bingeing, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming, methamphetamine, methamphetamines, drug dealer, amphetamine, amphetamines, addict, addicts
"No, I've never liked chasing sticks. I though you enjoyed throwing them."
Tags:chase sticks, chases sticks, chasing sticks, throw sticks, throws sticks, throwing sticks, favor, favors, favour, favours, walk, walks, dog walk, dog walks, dog walking, walk the dog, walks the dog, walking the dog, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, humoring you, humor you, humors you, humouring you, enjoyment
"How is it gendered?"
"What do you mean I don't have to pay the two-million-dollar fine in unmarked bills?"
Tags:trump, president trump, president donald trump, the donald, businessman, business, businesses, illegal payment, illegal payments, illegal transaction, criminal, criminal activity, criminal activities, crimes, illegal business, illegal businesses, unmarked bills, unmarked, fine, pay a fine, paying fine, paid fine, pays a fine, assumption, assuming, assumed, assumptions, assumes, assume