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'Well I could help with 'A bit of filing and general help around the office' or you MIGHT like to benefit from my 25 years experience in software development and capital infrastructure investment experience.'
"Weltschmerz? Is that like the flu?"
Tags:weltschmerz, depressed, depression, depressive, depressives, mental health, mental health issue, mental health issues, mental health disorder, mental health disorders, office worker, office workers, office work, office job, office jobs, insensitive, insensitivity, executive, executives, business executive, business executive, manager, managers, boss, bosses, business manager, business managers, author, authors, german author, german authors, stress, stressed out, stressful, stressing, misdiagnose, misdiagnosis, assume, assumption, assumptions, making assumptions
The Lost Contact Lenses of the Gods
Tags:contact lens, contact lenses, assume, assumption, assumptions, discover, discoveries, new discoveries, religions, ancient artefact, ancient artefacts, historian, historians, ancient monument, ancient monuments, modern life, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, sci-fi, sci fi, science fiction
"Shot between the eyes, but just before he died he spelled out the name of the killer with his soup."
Tags:inspector, inspectors, detective inspector, detective inspectors, di, d.i., police, policeman, officer, officers, crime scene, crime scenes, murder, murders, victim, victims, murder investigation, murder investigations, soup, pasta, spaghetti, letter, letters, lettering, spell, spells, spelling, killer, killers, throw off the scent, fake, frame, frames, framed, framing, morrie did it, shot, gun, guns, unprofessional, unthorough, presume, presumes, presuming, assumption, assumptions, alphabet, alaphabet soup
'Strange -- I always thought that thunder sounded like the angels were bowling.'
Tags:storm, storms, stormy, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, cloud, clouds, vacuum, vacuums, vacuuming, vacuumed, hoover, hoovers, hoovered, hoovering, thunder, thunders, boom, booms, booming, boomed, wrong, assume, assumes, assumed, assuming, assumption, assumptions, afterlife, bowling, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'
"Now just why do you think I would know how to fix the printer?"
Tags:robot, robots, robotic, robotics, electric, electrics, expect, expecting, expectation, expectations, presume, presuming, presumption, presumptions, printer, printers, fix, fixes, fixes, know, knowledge, audacity, audacious, assumption, assumptions, colleague, colleagues, office, offices, computer, computers, office desk, office desks
'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'
Tags:pirate, pirates, music, musics, download, downloads, downloading, downloaded, downloader, downloaders, mp3, mp3s, mp3 player, mp3 players, music player, music players, assume, assumes, assuming, assumed, assumption, assumptions, confuse, confused, confusing, confusion, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"
Tags:service man, service men, military service, veteran, veterans, decorated veteran, decorated veterans, war veteran, war veterans, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, medal, medals, decoration, decorations, uniform, uniforms, military man, military men, presumption, presumptions, introduction, introductions, cocktail party, cocktail parties, mankoff
"I think I can speak for an entire generation when I say I'm either in my thirties or in my forties."
Tags:generation, generations, generation x, generation y, millennial, millennials, politician, politicians, political speech, political speeches, speak for a generation, speaking for a generation, generalization, generalizing, generalisation, generalising, speech, speeches, speechwriter, speechwriters, stump speech, stump speeches, hedge your bets, hedging your bets, play it safe, playing it safe, lowest common denominator, risk, risks, risky, safe assumption, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes
"By the way you stand, I guessed you were a dancer."
My First Visit to the Laundromat
Tags:launderette, launderettes, laundromat, laundromats, automated, automation, automatic, tumble dryer, tumble dryers, laundry machine, laundry machines, ignorant, ignorance, stupid, stupidity, washing machine, washing machines, modern times, modern life, modern attitudes, lazy, laziness, dependant, dependence, machine dependence, assume, assumption, modern technology
"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."
Tags:bird, birds, fly, flies, flying, sky, skies, formation, v formation, v-shape, v-shaped, migration, migrate, migrates, migrating, migratory bird, migratory birds, romance, romantic, romantics, romanticist, romanticists, invite, invited, invitation, hopeless, disappoint, disappointed, disappointment, assume, assumed, assumption, assumptions, date, dates, dating, special, expectation, expectations
"Don't assume everyone here is a Democrat."
What probably happened.
"What makes you think any of us around here can read?"
"Y a un truc bizarre."
Tags:caveman, cavemen, cave, caves, cave painting, cave paintings, weird, found, find, discover, discovered, discovery, hand, hands, hand painting, hand paintings, bizarre, assume, assumed, assumption, assumptions, history, science, theory, theories, incorrect, non-human, inhuman, french, french cartoon, french cartoons
Tags:rich, riches, wealthy, wealthy person, wealthy families, nosy, idle rich, ceo, ceos, chief executive, chief executives, executive, executives, privilege, life of privilege, overprivileged, overprivilege, first world, first world problem, first world problems, checking account, checking accounts, assumption, assumptions, upper class, upper classes
"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"
"We will MAKE the problem fit out solution."
Tags:humanitarian aid, cartoonathon, humanitarian work, problem, problems, solution, solutions, solve, solves, problem solver, problem solvers, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming, square peg, round hole, fix, fixes, quick fix, quick fixes, predetermined, analysis, analyze, analyzing, analyse, analysing, analyst, analysts, closeminded, narrowminded, close-minded, narrow-minded
Stout Cortez and Some Wild Surmises
Tags:keats, john keats, cortez, stout cortez, cortes, stout cortes, hernan cortes, explorer, explorers, exploring, exploration, pacific, discovery, discoveries, surmise, surmises, surmising, suppose, supposes, supposing, supposition, suppositions, assumption, assumptions, speculate, speculates, speculating, poem, poems, poetry, romantic, romantics, romantic poem, romantic poems, romantic poetry, on first looking into chapman's homer
"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."
Tags:travel, travels, travelled, well travelled, travelling, holiday, holidays, holiday makers, vacation, vacations, travel agents, modern, modern life, tourism, tourist, tourists, threat, threatened, safety, safe, safer, personal safety, paranoia, paranoid, worry, worrying, diseases, disease, assumption, assumptions, culture, cultures, international, international tourism, tourists, tourist, fanatics, perception, perceptions, perceived, danger, dangerous, dark tourism
"I don't have a single complaint about my treatment by the media."
Tags:treatment, treatments, media bias, media biases, white male, white males, white man, white men, bigot, bigots, bigoted, perspective, perspectives, hegemony, hegemonic, mainstream media, unfair, fair, fairness, complaint, complaints, complain, complains, complaining, newspaper, newspapers, journalist, journalists, journalism, unfair treatment, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming
"I'm not very tech-savvy. I only recently learned that 'call or click' doesn't involve castanets."
Tags:pub, pubs, bar, bars, date, dates, dating, first date, first dates, old, elderly, technophobe, technophobes, tech-savvy, opposite, opposites, recent, recently, call, click, clicks, clicking, mouse, mouses, laptop, laptops, learn, learned, learning, castanet, castanets, instrument, instruments, assumption, assumptions, confused, confusing, misunderstand, misunderstanding
"I thought it was a place to pick up some chicks, but NOOOOO!"
Tags:chicken, chickens, chick, chicks, take out, take outs, take away, takeaways, think, thinks, thinking, thunk, thought, thoughts, food, restaurant, restaurants, fast food, date, dates, dating, dated, assume, assumes, assuming, assumption, assumptions, assumed, mistaken, rooster, roosters, pick up, picks up, picking up, picked up