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"I said I'm an astronomer, not an astrologist!"
Tags:astrologist, astrologists, astrology, astronomer, astronomers, astronomy, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, stargazer, stargazers, star-gazer, star-gazers, starsign, starsigns, star sign, star signs, pseudoscience, pseudosciences, pet peeve, pet peeves, hobby, job title, job titles, con, cons, scientist, scientists, psychic, psychics, fortune teller, fortune tellers, fortune, fortunes, horoscope, horoscopes
"If there really are 70 million other galaxies I definitely lost the office pool."
Tags:comedian, comedians, comic, comics, comedy act, comedy acts, comedy show, comedy shows, radiation, comic radiation, big bang, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, girlfriend, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, breaking up, astronomer, astronomers, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, standup, standups, stand up, stand ups, stand-up, stand-ups
Missing: Since Time Began. . . The Missing Mass of the Universe - Have You Seen Me?
'I still contend that we live in a finite universe.'
"I just discovered another starbucks."
Tags:coffee chain, coffee chains, coffee shop, coffee shops, barista, baristas, observatory, observatories, telescope, telescopes, astronomer, astronomers, astronomy, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, stargazer, stargazers, stargazing, discovery, discoveries, chain, chains, retailer, retailers, star, stars, new star, new stars
Pure research goes on apace at the continuous-electron-beam-accelerator facility as a nuclear pjysicist probes the nature of subatomic particles in Daisy-Patch print broadcloth boxers from J. Crew.
Tags:researcher, researchers, scientist, scientists, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, designer clothes, designer clothes, designer clothing, fashions, biology, chemist, physics, physicist, physicists, lecturer, lecturers, particle physicist, particle physicists, particle physics, boxer, boxers, underwear, pants
"So what if the universe was created in a big bang! So was I!"
'I was only saying to the wife last night professor, this Higgs Boson particle business - what do you make of it?'
"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."
Tags:cake, cakes, bake, bakes, baking, bakery, bakeries, baker, bakers, home cook, home cooks, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, black hole, black holes, astronomy, astronomer, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, astrophysics, potluck, bring and share, potluck party, potluck parties, faux pas, dessert, desserts, overbake, overbakes, overbaked, overcook, overcooks, overcooking, party, parties, partying
'Why aren't comets ever discovered by people named Smith or Jones?'
The Big Bang
Tags:the big bang, origin of the universe, universe, how the universe began, beginning of the universe, space, origin, the big bang theory, science, scientist, scientists, astrophysics, astrophysicists, astrophysicist, anticlimax, anticlimactic, anti-climax, anti-climactic, let-down, let-downs, disappointments, disappointment
"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."
Tags:albert einstein, origin of the universe, physics, physicist, physicists, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, miranda warning, miranda warnings, miranda arrest, miranda arrests, cop, cops, law enforcement, policemen, policeman, police officer, police officers, traffic cop, traffic cops, arrest, arrests
Bring-Your-Child-To-Work Day in an astrophysics lab somewhere.
Tags:bring your kid to work day, bring your child to work day, work experience, work experiences, professor, professors, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, astrophysics, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, blackboard, blackboards, equation, equations, formula, formulas, scientific breakthrough, scientific breakthroughs
"How many times have I told you? Never open the jar with the black hole in it!"
Tags:astronomer, astronomers, astronomy, stargazer, stargazers, stargazing, star gazer, star gazers, star gazing, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, physicist, physicists, observatory, observatories, scientist, scientists, black hole, black holes, black-hole, black-holes, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, telescope, telescopes
Black Hole Research Institute has no outbox.
Tags:science, scientist, scientists, physics, astrophysics, astro physics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, astronomer, astronomers, astronomy, black hole, black holes, research, researcher, research scientist, research scientists, absorb, absorbs, absorption, inbox, inboxes, in-box, in-boxes, outbox, outboxes, out-box, out-boxes
Downstairs from the big bang.
Tags:noisy neighbour, noisy neighbours, noisy neighbor, noisy neighbors, alien, aliens, big bang, physics, physicist, physicists, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, big-bang, theory, theories, scientist, scientists, martian, martians, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrials, scifi, sci-fi, science fiction, science-fiction, sci fi
"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"
The Red Shift/The Purple Muu-Muu
"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."
"Still, you've got to admire them for trying."
Tags:alien, aliens, extra terrestrial, extra terrestrials, extraterrestrials, extraterrestrial, martian, martians, mock, mocking, laugh, laughing, space technologies, space technology, probe, probes, space probe, space probes, satellite, satellites, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, cosmologist, cosmologists, cosmology, space engineering, space engineers, space engineer, superior, superior technology, superior technologies, belittle, belittling
"You'll have to excuse him. He's a gassy planet."
Tags:planet, planets, solar system, solar systems, space, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, physics, physicist, physicists, stargazer, stargazers, stargazing, star gazer, star gazers, star-gazer, star-gazers, star-gazing, gas planet, gas planets, gas, flatulence, fart, farts, farting, gas giant, gas giants
"Don't they have those gravitational waves at the leisure centre?"
Tags:gravitational waves, 'ripples' in space-time fabric, universe, space, black hole, black holes, supernova, supernovae, neutron star, neutron stars, laser interferometer gravitational-wave observatory, ligo, discovery, scientific discovery, scientific discoveries, scientific breakthrough, scientist, scientists, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, astrophysics