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'Is this a foreleg? Back leg? Antenna?....'
'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'
'tell the new athletic trainer I want to see him immediately after practice.'
'I'm an athletic trainer, not a miracle worker.'
'Actually, I'm an athletic trainer. I just do hair removal on the side.'
'I don't even need to look under the helmet. He blew a head gasket.'
'I feel awful. Coach was clutching his throat and turning blue, but I thought it was the 'bunt' sign.'
'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'
'...But I want to be miles away when the athletic trainer peels that tape off his hairy leg.'
'Stay rigid! Don't move! ... Fetch the salt pills - he's got a full body cramp.'
'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'
'Seven seconds flat - a new world record! ... Wait. Whoa! How ironic is that? Our champion sprained her own ankle.'
'...The athletic trainer's coming with the WD-40.'
'Never mind! He's in an HMO. ...They're sending a tow truck.'
'It's safe to look, sire. There's a time-out on the battlefield. Our athletic trainer is taping up Sir Dwayne's twisted ankle.'
'The entire team is lethargic. Tell the athletic trainer to whip up a cure.'
'He's not a doctor or an athletic trainer. He's not even a coach!'