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'Have I lapsed into legalese?'
'He said, 'in his professional opinion, his bill was not outrageous'. Then he billed me for that opinion.'
'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'
'I take it we won.'
'Sure, a handshake is good enough for me, Hanson, if you don't mind my lawyer looking it over?'
Baby's first words.
'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'
St Patrick Drives the Snakes out of Ireland.
'We're asking for an invasion of privacy class-action suit against birdwatchers.'
'To cut down on malpractice suits, my colleague, Dr. Hand, will do all the talking...'
'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'
'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'
'Lately, Foster, your mumbo jumbo has become too understandable.'
'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'
'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'
'I hope you're not a lawyer or a politician. We're trying to diversify down here.'
'Don't worry Mr Dumpty. We'll bring suit against all the King's men and all the King's horses for practicing medicine without a license.'
'Do you think I'll get any product endorsement contracts, since my trial is televised?'
'Have you considered corporate sponsorship when naming your baby?'
Walter P. Bernbeam: Fornicator - Wastrel - Lush
'You're the best legal minds we have. Any problem wearing a t-shirt that says 'The A-Team'?'
'Your Honour, I think the ball's in your court.'
"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."
"The fact is Santa, if that's your real name. You were caught inside the house, with a sack full of valuables."
'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'