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"Thanks, Chuck, I admire your NASCARness also."
Tortoise and the hare stand at a starting line; the hare is looking at the tortoise's shell which is covered in endorsement stickers like a race car.
"I tried racing cars but they beat me every time."
'You know what would improve NASCAR? Randomly placed landmines.'
"That rotten smell? That's my spoiler."
'Your wife borrowed the car.'
Race car driver gets a speeding ticket
"Remember I said don't use this road because the car race was in town!"