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Tags:platinum record, platinum records, platinum, going platinum, classical composer, classical composers, composer, composers, composition, compositions, classical music, classical music lover, classical music lovers, posthumous, posthumous award, posthumous awards, tombstone, tombstones, recognition, fame, famous, too late, award, awards, award ceremony, award ceremonies
"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."
Tags:botox injection, botox injections, hollywood, award, awards, award ceremony, award ceremonies, plastic, plastic surgery, plastic surgeons, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, superficial, superficiality, actress, actresses, look young, looks young, looking young, youthful, plastic surgeries, glamour, glamor
"But most of all I'd like to thank the zeitgeist."
'And finally, the Nobel prize for most toes...'
"So that's where you were last night."
Tags:award, awards, award ceremony, award ceremonies, acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, trophy, trophies, back late, couple, couples, difficult relationship, difficult relationships, living together, cohabit, cohabiting, awarded, found out, figure out, figured out, husband and wife, husbands and wives, honour, honoured, honours
"Help keep my Oscar hopes alive."
Tags:award, awards, awards ceremony, award ceremonies, hollywood, actor, actors, bad actor, bad actors, failed actor, failed actors, homeless, homelessness, panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, beggar, beggars, begging, social inequality, inequality, sleep rough, sleeping rough, rough sleeper, rough sleepers, la, los angeles, california
"I'm not going to sit here and make fun of the very people I'm wasting my time watching."
Tags:award ceremony, award ceremonies, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, mockery, mocking, heckler, hecklers, heckling, couch potato, couch potatoes, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, celebrity culture, fan, fans, cynic, cynics, husband, husbands wife, wives, time wasting, wasting time, time waster, time wasters
"Well, for starters, I'd like to thank me."
Oscars acceptance speech.
"I'm told the competition was pretty fierce this year."
Tags:father, fathers, dad, dads, #1 dad, father's day, fathers day, father's day card, father's day cards, competition, competitions, award, awards, award ceremony, award ceremonies, fierce competition, fierce competitions, birthday, birthdays, birthday card, birthday cards, greatest dad, greatest dads, world's greatest, worlds greatest
"Once you've stood up for one actor, you're not allowed to sit back down for the next."
Tags:award, awards, award ceremony, award ceremonies, actor, actors, applause, applaud, applauding, standing ovation, standing ovation, standing applause, honour, honours, honouring, polite, politeness, social niceties, social nicety, social cue, social cues, respect, respecting, respectful, acting, best actor, best actor award, actress, actresses
'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'
"Next we've got our awards for imperfect attendance."
Tags:attendance record, attendance records, perfect attendance, imperfect attendance, prize, prizes, prize ceremony, prize ceremonies, award ceremony, awards ceremony, awards ceremonies, award ceremonies, assembly, pupil, pupils, student, students, truant, truants, truancy, truancies, skiving off, skive, skived, skiver, skivers, dumbing down, dumbed down, achievement, achievements
"Unfortunately, Lance can't be here tonight to accept this award. But it's a thrill and an honor for me to accept it on his behalf on my way over to his place with his small onion and pepperoni."
Tags:delivery man, delivery men, pizza delivery, pizza deliveries, pizza, takeout, takeouts, takeaway, takeaways, takeout pizza, takeout pizzas, takeaway pizza, takeaway pizzas, award, awards, award ceremony, award ceremonies, lazy, laziness, deliveryman, deliverymen, delivery person, delivery people, acceptance speech, acceptance speeches, disrespect, disrespectful, disregard, disregarding, movie award, movie awards, film award, film awards
"But what will I not wear?!"
"Missing out at the AWARDS was BIG upset to Jim...but luckily his team has rallied around to repair the damage...to his ego!"
"...and this year's Special Achievement Award for the longest undetected game of computer Solitaire goes to..."
"And, of course, I want to thank all the little people!"
Tags:award, awards, ceremony, ceremonies, award ceremony, award ceremonies, speech, speeches, acceptance speech, acceptance speeches, cliche, self image, self presentation, self-image, self-presentation, actor, actors, false, fake, acting, little people, the little, people, thank, thanking, thank you speech, thank you speeches, buzzword, buzzwords, jargon
'And the award for Best Newcomer goes to...'
"Whoa...look at the rack on her!"
'And the winner of the Nobel prize for nepotism is...Alfred Nobel the third!'
"And the award for best newcomer goes to..."
'Ooh, I love your overalls, who are you wearing?'
"Is there weaker praise than 'Emmy-nominated'?"
'And the Mannies goes to . . . Dan Danielson for successfully carrying 17 bags of groceries in one trip.'