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"This ought to bring in the young demographic!"
'...and the award for best newcomer goes to...'
"I'll keep this short as I know many of you are eager to hit that dumpster out back."
"What will it be today, my dear? Pantaloons or loons in the pants?"
Netflix Award Show
"And now the award for..."
"I don't know much about show business, but my uncle was featured on the golden globes buffet table."
Ballsiest Left Turn Attempt Awards.
"He wins every year -- the man could sell an annuity to a mayfly."
"I can't believe this! Only one Hispanic-American has received a Kennedy Center honor in the past 35 years! Well, I'm giving them a piece of my mind!"
"Baldo, this show is for special entertainers...people who reach millions every day, who tell stories, who make you smile, who make you think..."
Snoop Dog speaks to a sell-out audience (they all sold out years ago).
"OK darling think gracious ... you don't care that you didn't win ...it's beneath you ... and keep clapping ..."