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"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."
Tags:board, boards, motion, motions, short, shorter, chair, chairs, chair legs, away, holiday, vacation, absent, absentee, missing, demote, demoted, make fun, tease, shorten, play around, joke, prank, pranks, serious, formal, procedure, procedures, board of directors, teasing, pranking, pranker, practical joke
"Could you repeat what you just said? I was on another planet."
Tags:repeat, reapting, not listening, not paying attention, on another planet, miles, away, mind wandered, concentration, lack of concentration, not concentrating, date, dates, dating, bad date, bad dates, talking, talk, talks, relationship, relationships, bad listener, bad listeners, good listener, good listeners
Moses leads his people to the dessert.
"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."
Tags:secretary, secretaries, receptionist, receptionists, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawsuit, lawsuits, litigation, law, laws, legal, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, conversation, conversations, away, absent, unavailable, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, questionable, bad doctor, bad doctors, business
'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'
Pilot with champagne.
"Mr. Carmichael won't be in today. He was beset by woes."
'Best of both worlds really. I can stick my head in the ground, and run away if I want.'
'What do you mean you were having so much fun riding with your buddies you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home over a year ago!'
Praying The Gay Away
"Where is this 'away' place that you throw things?"
"You seem calm above the surface, but underneath I feel as if you're paddling like hell away from me."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, duck, ducks, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy relationships, unhappy relationship, unhappy relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, unhappy marriage, unhappy marriages, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, partner, partners, calm, hiding, secretive, surface, underneath, inside, inner feelings, emotion, emotions, feelings, paddling, swimming, away, running away, pulling away, escaping, avoiding, psychology
'I said, I'm running away...Who's going to drive me?'
"Thanks for spending me hours showing me all the brochures...now I think I'll go and buy my tour on the internet."
"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."
Tags:office, offices, fancy office, fancy offices, exec, execs, executive, executives, manager, managers, management, pa, personal assistant, personal assistants, executive assistant, executive assistants, secretary, secretaries, staff, employees, unliked, out of office, away, totem pole, totem poles, office prank, office pranks
"Can you pray again in a couple of hours? He's in a meeting."
Tags:religion, religious, pray, praying, prayer, prayers, god, busy, away, meeting, meetings, angel, angels, secretary, secretaries, receptionist, receptionists, call, calls, calling, call back, business, businessman, businessmen, try again, bedtime, bed, beds, bedtime routine, bedtime routines, office, offices, office life
"I don't know how long we can keep telling people you're away from your desk."
Tags:jail, jails, prison, prisons, incarceration, behind bars, imprisoned, penitentiary, penitentiaries, correctional facility, correctional facilities, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, punishments, visitation, visitor, visitors, business, businessman, businessmen, businesswoman, businesswomen, executive, executives, manager, managers, desk, away from the desk, away from the office, away, absent, hiding the truth, lying, fraud, corruption, embezzlement, scandal, scandals, white-collar crime, white-collar criminal, white-collar criminals, ceo, chief executive officer, c.e.o., ceos, c.e.o.s, chief executive officers
"If only this paperwork would just melt away."
Tags:business, paper, paperwork, too, much, to do, list, long, lengthy, stressed, stressful, out, anxious, anxiety, overloaded, overwhelmed, overworked, stacks, mounds, heaps, overdue, past, due, late, read, write, reply, approve, deny, snowman, melt, away, go, end, finish, wish, wishful, thinking, professional, executive, manager
'Coconut? -- You seriously expect me to bite on coconut?'
The one that got away / A fisherman looses a catch which happens to be the number 1
'She threw me out.'
Either these are the worst excuses I've ever seen, or I need to call protective services.
Tags:protective services, monkey, monkeys, apes, ape, excuses, excuse, school letter, letters, absence, absences, away, teaching, teacher, teaches, schools, schooling, school teacher, school teachers, sick note, sick notes, absence note, hitting head, injuries, injure, injured, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
An unadulterated look into the life of a brown recluse.
Tags:spider, spiders, fly, flies, insect, insects, bug, bugs, recluse, recluses, alone, lonely, loneliness, private, property, properties, solicit, soliciting, away, plumb, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, mum, mums, mom, moms, unadulterated, life, live, lives, brown, browns, bin, bins, trashcan, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Simpson, I want you to chair this afternoon's meeting on absenteeism"