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"Each to each, I always say! Share and share alike! I take pride in my cuisine, but at the same time I am willing to divvy up household chores with a wife. Say, a wife named Irma. That is, if Irma shares as breadwinner! I'll do the cooking! We'll split th
Superman Heads Back To The Fridge
Tags:bachelor, bachelors, life, everyday, every day, ordinary, ordinary life, normal, normal life, bachelor pad, bachelor life, hero, heroes, heroic, superhero, superheroes, living alone, lonely, alone, loneliness, single, single life, living alone, independence, independent, independently, hungry, hunger, bored, boring, boring life, bored life, modern, modern world, modern life, modern living, home alone, alone at home
"I want you to meet Dave. You'll get a kick out of his money."
Tags:relationship, relationships, introduce, introduction, introductions, meet, meeting, dating, potential relationship, potential relationships, new relationship, new relationships, money, rich, wealthy, well-off, well off, affluent, greed, greedy, gold-digger, gold digger, gold-diggers, gold diggers, rich husband, rich boyfriend, single, bachelor, bachelors, party, parties, cocktail, cocktails, attract, attraction, attractive, get a kick
"You want to check out my crib?"
Tags:crib, cribs, baby, babies, cot, cots, bachelor pad, bachelor pads, bachelor, bachelors, infant, infants, flirt, flirts, flirtation, flirtations, flirting, love life, love-life, pick up, pick-up, pick ups, pick-ups, chat up, chat ups, chat-up, chat-ups, chatup, chatups, infantilize, infantilized, immature, immaturity, nursery, nurseries
'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'
"Single!" "Single!" "Single!" "Wait! I'll get my son!"
Tags:sport, sports, ski, skis, skiing, skier, skiers, ski lift, ski lifts, chairlift, chairlifts, ski resort, ski resorts, pair, pairs, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, couple, couples, love, dating, single, singles, bachelor, bachelors, bachelorette, bachelorettes, line, lines, lining up, lineup, lineups, queue, queue, queuing, pairing off, partner, partners, setting up, matchmaking, matchmaker, matchmakers, wordplay, word play
"I'm out of the closet but under the radar."
Tags:love, loving, romance, romantic, romancing, dates, dating, loves, loved, boyfriend, boyfriends, husband, husbands, gay, gay marriage, mlm, man loving man, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtq+, inclusive, inclusivity, relationship, married, out of the closet, closet, under the radar, radar, pass, passing, single, single life, bachelor, bachelorhood, confirmed bachelor, modern life, modern love, wit, witty, wisecrack, technical, technically, word play, play on words, word-play, after work, post-work, drinks, drink, drinking, friend, friends
"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."
Tags:ocd, ocds, obsessive compulsive, obsessive compulsives, obsessive compulsion, mental state, lonely, loneliness, ritual, rituals, ritualistic, bachelor, bachelors, bachelorhood, evening plans, evening plan, lonely existence, invitation, invitations, socialize, socialise, socializing, socialising
"Technically, my bachelorhood isn't so much confirmed as it is legislated."
Tags:love, loving, romance, romantic, romancing, dates, dating, loves, loved, boyfriend, boyfriends, husband, husbands, gay, gay marriage, mlm, man loving man, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtq+, inclusive, inclusivity, relationship, married, law, laws, legal, federal, federal law, single, single life, bachelor, bachelorhood, confirmed bachelor, modern life, modern love, wit, witty, wisecrack, technical, technically
"My name is Morris Mandlebaun, I'm 28 years old and I want a tell, blond, blue-eyed shiksa."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, christmas, christmas time, christmas wish, christmas wishes, mall santa, mall santas, inappropriate, inappropriateness, girlfriend, girlfriends, single, singles, bachelor, bachelors, lonely, loneliness, shiksa, shiksas, white people, white girl, white girls, christmas list, christmas lists, unreasonable request, unreasonable requests, asking too much, unexpected, immature, immaturity, childish, childishness
Why Uncle Abe Still Lives Alone"You call that clean?"
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, carwash, carwashes, car wash, car washes, filling station, filling station, fuelling station, fuelling station, garage, garages, service station, service station, servo, servos, attendant, attendants, complaint, complaints, complaining, chore, chores, never good enough, clean, cleaning, cleaner, cleaners, squeegee, squeegees, single, complainer, complainers, whiner, whiners, whining, nag, nags, nagging, bachelor, bachelors, picky, fussy, choosy, service, customer service, customer, customers, family, families, uncle, uncles, relative, relatives, living alone, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, grumpy, windshield, windshields, window, windows
Tags:weddings, wedding, wedding cake, wedding cakes, tiered cake, tiered cakes, single, single person, single people, single man, single men, bachelor, bachelors, content, contentedness, lonely, loneliness, forever alone, antisocial, unsociable, unmarried, wedding cake topper, wedding cake toppers, wedding cake figurine, wedding cake figurines
"If I had known I was going to meet somebody like you, I would have lost some weight, gotten some hair plugs, and made more money."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, dating, date, dates, single, singles, forever alone, bachelor, bachelors, bar, bars, pub, pubs, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, meet, meeting, flirting, flirtation, pick-up line, pick-up lines, pickup line, pickup lines, pick up line, pick up lines, lost weight, diet, diets, exercise, fitness, hair, hair plug, hair plugs, money, job, jobs, career, careers, work, businessman, businessmen, middle-age, middle age, middle-aged, middle aged, introduction, introductions, flaw, flaws, problem, problems, issue, issues, not good enough, self-improvement, self-confidence, self-esteem
'And to think I got a dog to help me meet women'
Cupid's converge on a bachelor.
"You figure it. We're not gay, we don't use drugs, and we still got it."
Tags:single, single life, bachelor, bachelors, bachelor pad, bachelor pads, lonely, loneliness, mystery, mysteries, complain, complains, complaining, complaint, complaints, whine, whines, whining, moan, moans, moaning, unattractive, trapped, roommate, roommates, roomie, roomies, lab rat, lab rats, rat, rats
A turkey displays a deck of cards.
Tags:cards, pick a card, magician, magicians, magic trick, magic tricks, illusion, illusions, close-up, close-up magic, magic, deck of cards, fan out, fans out, fanning out, woo, woos, wooing, flirt, flirts, flirting, illusion, illusions, illusionist, illusionists, display, displays, displaying, feather, feathers, single, single life, bachelor, bachelors
"And just remember: Daddy got you out of that nasty pet store because he hopes you'll act really cute and friendly in the park, especially around attractive, single women."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, puppy, puppies, pet store, pet stores, pet shop, pet shops, relationship, relationship, relationship issues, relationship problems, looking for love, desperate, single, singles, bachelor, bachelors, attracting women, man, men, bait, strategy, strategies, dating, meeting women, dog park, dog parks, dog run, dog runs
Cupcake jumps out of cake.
Tags:cupcake, cupcakes, cake, cakes, bachelor party, bachelor, bachelor parties, stag party, stag parties, birthday, birthday party, celebration, celebrations, men, men celebrating, oversized cake, giant cake, giant cupcake, food, food anthropomorphism, anthropomorphism, stripping, surprise, surprising, dessert, desserts, obese, obesity, fat, greed, greedy, appetite, appetite, libidos, libido
'Mock if you want, but I feel a connection with my mom.'
"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, date, dates, dating, wrong, incorrect, mr. right, love, loving, correct, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriend, girlfriends, infidelity, divorce, divorces, divorcee, divorcees, single, singles, bachelor, bachelors, bachelorette, bachelorettes, forever alone
"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."
Tags:gym, gyms, gym routine, pump, get a pump on, pumped, pumped up, lift, lifting, lifting weights, single, single life, bachelor, bachelors, lonely, loneliness, locker room, locker-room, gymnasium, health, muscle, muscles, cardio, heart health, fitness, fit, fitter, ripped, shredded, men, masculine, masculinity, date, dates, dating
Wheel of Dinner
Tags:wheel of fortune, decision wheels, decision wheel, supper, bachelors, bachelor, singles, single, being single, dinners, dinner, lunch, take out, cooks, cooking, kitchen, take away, lazy, pizza, takeout, lazy, decision, decision makers, decision maker, decision making, catering, choice, random, food, eating out, eating
"Gigot de sept heures."
"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"
Tags:irs, i.r.s., internal revenue service, tax, taxes, taxation, money, tax office, tax offices, tax examiner, tax examiners, tax collector, tax collectors, revenue agent, revenue agents, money, finances, income, wealth, wealthy, rich, well-off, affluent, dependant, dependants, single, bachelor, bachelors, relationship, relationships, dating, marriage, love, matchmaker, matchmakers, matchmaking, gold digger, gold diggers, single men, arranged marriage