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"No offense, but your mother couldn't fry bacon, could't make toast, and could't heat up last week's beans, and her famous raisin pie would make a buzzard tremble."
Tags:couple, couples, old married couple, old married couples, arguing couple, arguing couples, argue, argues, arguing, argues, insult, insulting, insulting your mom, insulting your mother, mil, mother in law, mothers in law, daughter in law, daughters in law, cant cook, bad cook, bad cooks, no offence, no offense
"We grow all our own bad-tasting ugly things."
Tags:modern life, modern attitudes, grow your own, home grown, veg, veggies, vegetable, vegetables, home cook, home cooking, fresh cooking, deluded, delusional, pretentious, pretension, pretentiousness, bad cook, bad cooks, bad food, home-grown, hipster, hipsters, show off, show offs, showing off, show-off, show-offs
"I stuffed it with things found around the house."
Tags:turkey, turkeys, thanksgiving, chicken, chickens, cook, cooks, cooking, stuffing, dressing, dressings, dinner, dinners, meal, meals, supper, suppers, misunderstand, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, bad cook, bad cooks, found object, found objects, loose change, haphazard, christmas, christmas dinner, banquet, dinner party, dinner parties, disaster, disasters
"I'm here to fix the lasagne."
"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"
Tags:art, artist, artists, painting, paintings, painter, painters, easel, easels, paint, paints, suffer, suffering, suffering artist, suffering artists, whip up, food, dinner, dinners, meal, meals, bad cook, bad cooks, homecooking, home chef, home chefs, pain, hardship, misery, difficult, difficulties, relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, insult, insults, insulting
'You just had to put in fifteen hundred acres of corn when you know darn well all my casseroles call for green beans.'
Tags:farm, farms, farming, farmer, farmers, farmed, acre, acres, corn, corns, sweetcorn, sweet corn, plant, planted, plants, planting, planter, planters, green beans, green, greens, beans, bean, pea, peas, casserole, casseroles, wife, wives, bad cook, cook, cooking, cooker, cookers, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"This is actually quite good. Remember the first time you tried to order pizza?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, pizza, pizzas, pizza delivery, takeaway pizza, takeout pizza, ordering pizza, cooking, bad cook, bad cooks, incompetent, incompetence, insult, insults, insulted, insulting
"Kids! No watching Bobby Flay before Mommy cooks dinner!"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, cooking, homecooking, home cooking, cook, cooks, chef, chefs, famous chef, famous chefs, food, dinner, dinners, dinnertime, mealtime, meal, meals, bad cook, bad cooks, bad at cooking, compare, comparison, comparisons, comparing, television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, watching t.v., watching tv, watching television
"It'll never be ready in time."
"One wonders what they're serving tonight at Oustau de Baumaniere in Les Baux."
"Are you ready to pound down some breakfast?"
Do we have to watch Gordon Ramsey flambeing swordfish steaks in red wine while we eat our frozen fish cakes and instant mash?
"As soon as it clusters into a cultural bubble, it's done."
"Is this the spatula or the whisk?"
Tags:kitchen, kitchens, kitchen utensil, kitchen utensils, spatula, spatulas, whisk, whisks, cook, cooks, home cook, home cooks, bad cook, bad cooks, cooking, home cooking, men in the kitchen, caveman, cavemen, cavewoman, cavewomen, cave, caves, stone age, bc, b.c., early humans, cave-dweller, cave dwellers, prehistory, prehistoric, hunter gatherer, pre-history, pre-historic, prehistorical, paleolithic, husband, husbands, wife, wives, helping in the kitchen, dunce
'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'
The spontaneous gourmet
"Quick... STOP, DROP & ROLL!"
"My wife dresses to kill; she cooks the same way..."
"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."
"Dinner is scrambled."
"Don't worry. This year I have a new recipe."
Tags:wife, wives, turkey, turkeys, cook, cooks, cooking, thanksgiving, thanksgiving dinner, thanksgiving dinners, roast, roasts, roasting, recipe, recipes, defeat, defeats, defeating, defeated, tally, tallies, tally chart, tally charts, husband, husbands, bad cook, bad cooks, competition, competitions, christmas dinner, chrismtas dinners
'For the instant mashed potatoes, the heat and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'
"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."
"No, hon, your cooking is great. Hold on - yes, I'd like to order a large pepperoni..."
Tags:pizza, pizzas, pizza delivery, pizza delivery service, pepperoni, bad cook, bad cooks, bad cooking, white lie, white lies, fib, fibs, fibbing, small fib, small fibs, reassure, reassures, reassuring, reassurance, reassurances, insult, insults, insulting, cook, cooks, homemaker, homemakers, home maker, home makers, gratitude, ungrateful, ingrate, ingrates