Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
"No offense, but your mother couldn't fry bacon, could't make toast, and could't heat up last week's beans, and her famous raisin pie would make a buzzard tremble."
Tags:couple, couples, old married couple, old married couples, arguing couple, arguing couples, argue, argues, arguing, argues, insult, insulting, insulting your mom, insulting your mother, mil, mother in law, mothers in law, daughter in law, daughters in law, cant cook, bad cook, bad cooks, no offence, no offense
"We grow all our own bad-tasting ugly things."
Tags:modern life, modern attitudes, grow your own, home grown, veg, veggies, vegetable, vegetables, home cook, home cooking, fresh cooking, deluded, delusional, pretentious, pretension, pretentiousness, bad cook, bad cooks, bad food, home-grown, hipster, hipsters, show off, show offs, showing off, show-off, show-offs
"I stuffed it with things found around the house."
Tags:turkey, turkeys, thanksgiving, chicken, chickens, cook, cooks, cooking, stuffing, dressing, dressings, dinner, dinners, meal, meals, supper, suppers, misunderstand, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, bad cook, bad cooks, found object, found objects, loose change, haphazard, christmas, christmas dinner, banquet, dinner party, dinner parties, disaster, disasters
"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"
Tags:art, artist, artists, painting, paintings, painter, painters, easel, easels, paint, paints, suffer, suffering, suffering artist, suffering artists, whip up, food, dinner, dinners, meal, meals, bad cook, bad cooks, homecooking, home chef, home chefs, pain, hardship, misery, difficult, difficulties, relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, insult, insults, insulting
"I'm here to fix the lasagne."
"This is actually quite good. Remember the first time you tried to order pizza?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, pizza, pizzas, pizza delivery, takeaway pizza, takeout pizza, ordering pizza, cooking, bad cook, bad cooks, incompetent, incompetence, insult, insults, insulted, insulting
"Kids! No watching Bobby Flay before Mommy cooks dinner!"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, cooking, homecooking, home cooking, cook, cooks, chef, chefs, famous chef, famous chefs, food, dinner, dinners, dinnertime, mealtime, meal, meals, bad cook, bad cooks, bad at cooking, compare, comparison, comparisons, comparing, television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, watching t.v., watching tv, watching television
"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."
Tags:kitchen, kitchens, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking, homecooking, home-cooking, recipe, recipes, food, meal, meals, food preparation, meal preparation, bad cooks, bad chefs, professional, professionals, difficult, hard, impossible, restaurant, restaurant, best, don't try this at home, keep in mind, television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., cooking show, cooking shows, cooking program, cooking programs, cooking programmes, cooking programmes, home chef, home chefs, foodie, foodies, gourmet, gourmets, gourmand, gourmands, preparing food, preparing a meal, bad at cooking, television studio, tv studio, t.v. studio
"It'll never be ready in time."
"One wonders what they're serving tonight at Oustau de Baumaniere in Les Baux."
"Are you ready to pound down some breakfast?"
"As soon as it clusters into a cultural bubble, it's done."
"Is this the spatula or the whisk?"
Tags:kitchen, kitchens, kitchen utensil, kitchen utensils, spatula, spatulas, whisk, whisks, cook, cooks, home cook, home cooks, bad cook, bad cooks, cooking, home cooking, men in the kitchen, caveman, cavemen, cavewoman, cavewomen, cave, caves, stone age, bc, b.c., early humans, cave-dweller, cave dwellers, prehistory, prehistoric, hunter gatherer, pre-history, pre-historic, prehistorical, paleolithic, husband, husbands, wife, wives, helping in the kitchen, dunce
"Quick... STOP, DROP & ROLL!"
'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'
The spontaneous gourmet
"My wife dresses to kill; she cooks the same way..."
"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."
"Dinner is scrambled."
"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."
"No, hon, your cooking is great. Hold on - yes, I'd like to order a large pepperoni..."
Tags:pizza, pizzas, pizza delivery, pizza delivery service, pepperoni, bad cook, bad cooks, bad cooking, white lie, white lies, fib, fibs, fibbing, small fib, small fibs, reassure, reassures, reassuring, reassurance, reassurances, insult, insults, insulting, cook, cooks, homemaker, homemakers, home maker, home makers, gratitude, ungrateful, ingrate, ingrates
"It's right when you think it's done, but it's not done, that it's most dangerous."
"And that's how great grandma braided her fish."
Tags:old family recipe, old family recipes, family recipe, family recipes, weird recipe, weird recipes, food, foods, home cooked food, home cooked meal, grandmothers recipe, grandmothers recipes, gross recipe, gross food, cook, cooks, bad cook, bad cooks, bad cooking, family, families, absurd, absurdist
'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'