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A father ignores his newborn to stare at a young midwife
'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'
"Of course Daddy could explain what a superconducting supercollider is, sweetie, but just at the moment Daddy is watching 'America's Most Wanted.'"
"I already assisted with your birth—what do you want now?"
"Can I call you back? I have to teach my child how to relax at home."
"Can things ever be the same once you've eaten the children?"
'Make of it what you will, but your daughter doesn't realize that Homer Simpson is supposed to be funny.'
"Andrew, do you think I'm a bad father?"
"I've decided not to have kids, the kids are taking it pretty hard..."