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A father ignores his newborn to stare at a young midwife
"Of course Daddy could explain what a superconducting supercollider is, sweetie, but just at the moment Daddy is watching 'America's Most Wanted.'"
"The wife thinks he's at summer camp."
"Can I call you back? I have to teach my child how to relax at home."
"Can things ever be the same once you've eaten the children?"
'Make of it what you will, but your daughter doesn't realize that Homer Simpson is supposed to be funny.'
"Andrew, do you think I'm a bad father?"