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"Put that grenade launcher away immediately or I'm going to have to report you to the principle."
"The freezer's almost empty, so be sure to bring back more bad boys and girls than you did last year!"
'Mom, Dad - this is Jeremy.'
"Tell her Legal says it's technically not a bribe."
"Stupid, Stupid Child-proof candy wrappers!"
"I'm not going!"
A balloon salesman is stuck with a pin and his balloons fly off.
'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'
"Here's the deal, Santa. I get the stuff I want and you get the list of the good kids back."
"Could you keep little Edward home from school today, Mrs. Rogers? It's part of our teacher morale project."
"We recently completed a review of the problems this school is having with teacher retention, and it turns out, one of the biggest problems is you."
"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."