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"I messed up a couple of quizzes but I didn't think that rose to the level of an 'F'."
"Before we begin, I just want to say how happy we are for this opportunity for an open-minded discussion about your complete failure to improve our son's academic performance."
Caution. Father could explode at any moment!
"I can't wait to put this on my blog!"
'I'm afraid your son is not very intelligent, so I suggest he takes up golf.'
"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"
"Are you sure the Russians didn't hack my answers to make me look bad?"
"Is there anything I can do for extra credit, like give you money?"
"Maybe I'd get better grades, Dad, if you came up with some kind of stimulus package."
'There goes my part as a wise man in the Christmas pageant.'
'Giving me a bad mark for this is a violation of my right to free speech!'
"You said you wanted me to show you a better school report..."
"But grades aren't the only way to measure learning outcomes."