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"Judgement Day: Division Four"
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, prosecutor, prosecutors, prosecution, defense, defence, defendant, defendants, client, clients, witness, witness, bailiff, bailiffs, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, day in court, justice, chaos, confusion, judgement day, american court system, punishments, sentence, sentences, sentencing, criminal, criminals, media, press, journalist, journalists, reporter, reporters, jury, juries, juror, jurors, murder, murders, homicide, swearing in, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence
'Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, except if your wife asks if she looks fat?'
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, judge, judges, judged, witness, witness', witnessed, oath, oaths, truth, lie, lies, liar, lying, lied, wife, wife, fat, looks fat, bailiff, trial, trials, on trial, promise, promised, promises, promising, testimony, testimonies, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Sir, just hand it to the bailiff.'
'Faster! The auditors are half way down the hall!'
"The bailiff will change the venue."
"Dancing with the liquidators."
'Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?'
"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, bailiff, bailiffs, officer, officers, animal, animals, amphibian, amphibians, frog, frogs, insect, insects, bug, bugs, fly, flies, annoying, annoy, annoyance, annoyances, disturb, disturbing, disturbance, disturbances, interrupting, interrupt, remove, removal, removing
"Recess is over, Your Honor."
'The Donnallys lost their car, but you've got to admire the way they're meeting adversity.'
"Tell him I'll pay! On my Mother's nine lives I swear I'll pay!!"
Tags:cat, cats, debtor, debtors, loanshark, loansharks, loan shark, loan sharks, loan-shark, loan-sharks, thug, thugs, henchmen, henchman, bailiff, bailiffs, feline, felines, cat myth, cat myths, nine lives, debt, debts, threat, threats, organized crime, organised crime, intimidation, intimidations, intimidating
"I happen to work for a collection agency. How would you like to work for me?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Dunlap, you are accused of filling your son Randolph's head with romantic claptrap and liberal flapdoodle, thus preventing him from becoming a productive member of society. How do you plead?"
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, on trial, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, bailiff, bailiffs, accused, accusation, accusations, kid, kids, child, children, son, sons, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, raising kids, raising children, romantic, liberal, liberals, claptrap, flapdoodle, notions, idea, ideas, values, opinion, opinions, productive, member of society, useless, worthless, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, modern parenting, modern parents, modern parenthood, modern life
"Ask the judge whether we can find the defendant not guilty and still execute him."
Trophies of debt collector's heads.
"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."
"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."
'The motels are full, Your Honor -- could we maybe sequester the jury at your house?'
"Disorder in the Court!"
'Bailiff, would you please send a text to, juror #2 and instruct him to put his phone away.'
"You must tell the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, pinky swear."
'Our HMO came this morning and took the refrigerator away!'