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'Yes, we offer no-fee checking accounts. For a small fee.'
'We would like to reassure you that we are taking measures towards recouping losses. You have been charged ?20 for this letter.'
"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."
Tags:service fee, service fees, hidden fee, hidden fees, hidden cost, hidden costs, service charge, service charges, customer service, customer services, customer, customers, friendliness, friendly greeting, friendly greetings, bank charge, bank charges, banking fee, banking fees, bank fee, bank fees, teller, tellers, bank, banks, clerk, clerks
'Since you just came in to say hello, there'll only be a nominal service charge.'
"The bank is now charging a 'not enough profit fee'."
'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'
Before you start to complain about the Bank I have to warn you there's a $5 whinge fee.
"We've looked into it and agree the charges were excessive...we've issued a letter of apology which you can have for half-price..."
The guard foiled a robbery last week: Every customer will be charged $10 for this.
Bank's advertising campaign: "Just empty your pockets."
'Noisy hippies...Get a job you bums!...What the ....! My bank will charge a monthly fee for - what?'
'Please don't go! We're dropping the debit card fee, look here's your five bucks back.'
'We've restructured our banking charges.'
The Cycle of Cash
If you can't manage your finances don't whinge about the charges
'...Burkley's Bank, I'd like to take you up your offer...for only a £5 a month you guarantee not to pester my by trying to sell services...'
"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."
Fee-charging ATM: 'You are about to be ripped off'.
'Our charges are very reasonable-should we say a fiver for the hire of the chair you're sitting on !'
Small Saver Guilt.
'What's this bank charge of £35?'
"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"
'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'
Dear Sir, You have been charged £35 for under-use of your bank account. . .
'What's this bank charge of £35?' - 'For standing there irritating me.'