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"I know he's in here somewhere!"
"Lord, maybe Baptism should have come after Pentecost."
"But I'm clean! I just got baptized this morning!"
'Hang on a minute, haven't we already got a Tracey?'
"I would get baptized, but I have a strange fear of water."
A hazard of river baptisms.
Ministry 101: Never perform a baptism in a river with a strong current.
"I don't think you're really entering into the spirit of this baptism." (Minister to man wearing waders and waterproofs with umbrella).
"Yeah, I was baptized and saved but I later changed my name. Could you check again?"
'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'
A baby being christened in a scuba mask.
'Y'know Mom - you just can't baptize a cat.'
'Right, Charlie, Tango, Victor,it it!'
John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.