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At The Oblivion Lounge"A double blotto straight up, Dave."
Tags:blotto, very drunk, drunk, drunken, drink, drinks, drinking, bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, barmaid, barmaids, alcohol, alcoholic drink, alcoholic beverage, alcoholic drinks, alcoholic beverages, straight up, no ice, incompetent, incompetents, incompetency, oblivion, oblivious, unaware, unconscious, intoxicated, intoxication, intoxicating, drunks, customer, customers, customer service, drinker, drinkers, lounge, lounges, shot, shots, double shot, double shots
"Do you have any of those little goldfish snacks I've heard about?"
'Something to quash the indignity of financial regulatory reform.'
'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'
Wanted: Solutions Integration Specialist, Must Be Able To Mix Drinks.
"No, dummy...that's not how we use a napkin!"
"Really? 'Happy Hour' is meant ironically? And you say everyone knows this?"
"Just when did we replace the peanuts with potpourri?"
'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'
"Yes, our drinks are very expensive, but that includes your cab fare home."
"Care for another pint, sir?"
"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"
"Whiskey and splash coming up!"
"A quick pint, Mavis, I'm running on empty!"
"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."
"I resent it when people come in to complain about their spouses, especially when one is my husband."
Tags:husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, married life, married couple, married couples, complain, complains, complaint, complaints, marriage problem, marriage problems, marital problem, martial problems, whine, whines, sympathetic ear, sympathetic ears, landlord, landlords, landlady, landladies, barmaid, barmaids, bartender, bartenders
"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."
Tags:happy hour, happy hours, whistle, whistles, sports bar, sports bars, sport bar, sport bars, drinks order, drinks orders, discount drink, discount drinks, discount, discounts, special offer, special offers, bar staff, barmen, barman, barwoman, barwomen, landlord, landlords, landlady, landladies, publican, publicans, barmaid, barmaids
"Are you the bar's manager? My husband thinks that he might have left his eyes in one of your waitresses' neckline."
"Do you realize what people are saying about me?"
'Maybe your wife doesn't understand you, because you don't make any sense!'
"If you want anything else, just wave your credit card."
"You must be the new barmaid."
'Sorry fellas, but happy hour's over.'