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At The Oblivion Lounge"A double blotto straight up, Dave."
Tags:blotto, very drunk, drunk, drunken, drink, drinks, drinking, bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, barmaid, barmaids, alcohol, alcoholic drink, alcoholic beverage, alcoholic drinks, alcoholic beverages, straight up, no ice, incompetent, incompetents, incompetency, oblivion, oblivious, unaware, unconscious, intoxicated, intoxication, intoxicating, drunks, customer, customers, customer service, drinker, drinkers, lounge, lounges, shot, shots, double shot, double shots
'Something to quash the indignity of financial regulatory reform.'
'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'
Wanted: Solutions Integration Specialist, Must Be Able To Mix Drinks.
"No, dummy...that's not how we use a napkin!"
'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'
"Yes, our drinks are very expensive, but that includes your cab fare home."
"Care for another pint, sir?"
"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"
"Whiskey and splash coming up!"
"A quick pint, Mavis, I'm running on empty!"
"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."
"I resent it when people come in to complain about their spouses, especially when one is my husband."
Tags:husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, married life, married couple, married couples, complain, complains, complaint, complaints, marriage problem, marriage problems, marital problem, martial problems, whine, whines, sympathetic ear, sympathetic ears, landlord, landlords, landlady, landladies, barmaid, barmaids, bartender, bartenders
"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."
Tags:happy hour, happy hours, whistle, whistles, sports bar, sports bars, sport bar, sport bars, drinks order, drinks orders, discount drink, discount drinks, discount, discounts, special offer, special offers, bar staff, barmen, barman, barwoman, barwomen, landlord, landlords, landlady, landladies, publican, publicans, barmaid, barmaids
"Are you the bar's manager? My husband thinks that he might have left his eyes in one of your waitresses' neckline."
"Do you realize what people are saying about me?"
'Maybe your wife doesn't understand you, because you don't make any sense!'
"If you want anything else, just wave your credit card."
"You must be the new barmaid."
'Sorry fellas, but happy hour's over.'
"Friends are like trees. They fall down if you hit them with an axe."
'I took one for myself, like you said.'
"No menus, you get what you deserve!"
Tags:karma, what goes around comes around, cafe, cafes, menu, menus, menu request, menu requests, bad service, server, servers, waiter, waiters, barmaid, barmaids, bar maid, bar maid, deserve, deserves, deserving, deserved, bad karma, good karma, cook, cooks, takeaway, takeaways, spiritual, spirituality