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"Quick, Jerry! A drink for Ted. He tried to put a penny in an old man's hat."
"Don't mind me, Riche – it's just the rabies talking."
"Put that out! It's over. And lose the goatee."
Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'
"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."
Tags:wednesday, wednesdays, regular, regulars, customer, customers, client, clients, usual crowd, usual crowds, camel, camels, hunchback, hunchbacks, barmen, barman, landlord, landlords, bartender, bartenders, bar-tender, bar-tenders, bartending, drink, drinks, drinking companion, drinking companions
"Stop me if you heard this one."
"A slurry of radioactive high-sulphur antibiotic-resistant carbon, please."
Tags:pollution, pollutions, polluted, pollute, pollutes, slurry, slurries, radioactive slurry, radioactive slurries, radioactive, radioactivity, hazardous waste, waste, waste pipe, waste pipes, pipe, pipes, drain, drains, sewer, sewers, sewer system, sewer systems, pub, pubs, bar, bars, bartender, bartenders, barman, barmen
"I don't want stock options. I want you to pay your tab."
"Oh, God, now they'll all start."
Tags:herd, herds, herd mentality, her mentalities, pack, packs, pack mentality, pack mentalities, howl, howls, howling, wolf, wolves, wild dog, wild dogs, dog, dogs, sing, sings, singing, pub, pubs, bar, bars, barman, barmen, barkeeper, barkeepers, nuisance, nuisances, racket, rackets, noisy, off-key, singalong, singalongs, annoyance, annoyances, drunk, drunks, drunken, drunkard, drunkards
"If it's the reedy, gurgling 'cut-cut-turrrrr' of the long-billed marsh wren, I'm not here."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartender, barman, barmen, avoiding calls, dodging calls, bird, birds, wren, wrens, marsh wren, bird watcher, bird watchers, bird calls, bird call, bird song, i'm not here, avoid, avoiding, avoids, relationship difficulties, relationship, relationships, marital difficulties, marriage, marriages
"Joe, the beautiful people are back from their summer places. Would you mind not coming in anymore?"
'What do you mean you're out of ice?'
"Grasshoppers all around."
"It's the loony bin. They want to know if you're coming back."
Tags:loony bin, loony bins, insane asylum, insane asylums, mental asylum, mental asylums, mental patient, mental patients, asylum, asylums, drinker, drinkers, drunk, drunks, drinking problem, drinking problems, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, landlord, landlords, barmen, barman, telephone, telephones, publican, publicans, politically incorrect, political incorrectness
"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."
"You're cut out for this job."
"Call the organ bank and tell them that we're ready for tonight's pickup!"
"No shoes, no shirt, no pants, no service."
'I wanted this on the rocks.'
Tags:ice, ices, on the rocks, rocks, rock, rocky, goat, goats, mountain goat, mountain goats, drink, drinks, complain, complaint, complains, complaining, complainer, complainers, mountain, mountains, habit, habits, neat, barman, barmen, waiter, waiters, customer service, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I could really use a stiff belt.'
'When's happy hour?'
"Anyone here named Hippity?"
'Better to have litigated and lost, than never to have litigated at all...'
"Do you have a Frequent Drinkers card?"
Tags:barmen, barman, bartender, bartenders, landlord, landlords, drinker, drinkers, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, drinking problem, drink problem, drink problems, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, loyalty card, loyalty cards, reward system, reward systems, customer loyalty
"You've had enough."