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"It's courtesy of the gentleman seated at the other end of the bar, ma'am."
"Wait. I never forget a face-Easter Island, 1722!"
Tags:moai, rapa nui, easter island, mo'ai, head, heads, statue, statues, recognition, recognize, recognizing, recognise, recognising, old friend, old friends, acquaintance, acquaintances, memory, remember, remembers, remembering, chance encounter, chance encounters, bar, bars, bartending, bartender, bartenders
"I pour the liquor. Al does the mixers. Mack handles beer and wine. Pete—fruits and garnishes. And Walt is our Jack of all trades, ready to spring into action, should one of us need to step briefly away."
"How about a drink for a harbinger of spring?"
Tags:bird, birds, migrate, migrates, migration, migrations, migrating, spring, change of the seasons, changing of the seasons, seasonal change, seasonal affective disorder, drink, drinks, drinking, drinker, drinkers, bartender, bartenders, bartending, comp, comps, comping, barfly, barflies, harbinger, harbingers, robin, robins
"Held up at work? You could have called."
Tags:alcohol, alcoholic, drinking, drinks, drink, bartender, bartenders, office, offices, working, works, work late, held up, late, lateness, tardy, tardiness, call ahead, calling, calls, loyal, loyalty, allegiance, faithful, relationship, relationships, bartending, pub, bar, bars, pubs, annoyed, warning, warns, comparison, compared, comparing, parody
"I think globally, but I spend locally."
Tags:cliche, cliches, expression, expressions, think globally, act locally, local business, local businesses, drinking, drinker, drinkers, barfly, barflies, bar, bars, bartender, bartenders, bartending, slogan, slogans, responsible, responsibility, stimulus, economic stimulus, small business, small businesses, small business owner, small business owners
"Well, so much for happy hour."
"Buck up, go home and be nice to the new kitty."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, bartending, pet, pets, dog, dogs, pup, pups, puppies, puppy, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, food service industry, dog owners, animal, animals, talking dog, talking dogs, talking animal, talking animals, hospitality, adjustment, adjusting, adjustments, new pet, new pets, cat, cats, kitty, kitten, kitties, kittens, feline, felines
"Hit me again - I'm trying to remember a woman."
'What is this, some kind of joke?'
"Two martinis straight up, Louis, and some good republican pork rinds."
Tags:pub, pubs, bar, bars, bartender, bartenders, bartending, pork, pork crackling, pork cracklings, pork greave, pork greaves, pork scratchings, pork scratching, pork rind, pork rinds, pig skin, fried pig skin, customer service, republican, republicans, southern, southern food, food, foods, snack, snacks, pub snack, pub snacks
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Claus, but nobody here fits that description…."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, barfly, barflies, bar fly, bar flies, barkeeper, barkeepers, bartender, bartenders, bartending, deny, denies, denying, denial, denials, wife, wives, nag, nags, nagging, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, description, descriptions, matching description, matching descriptions, husband, ne'er do well, ne'er do wells, reindeer, christmas eve, skive, skives, skiving, playing hooky, play hooky, plays hooky
The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.
Tags:zeus, jupiter, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, olympian, olympians, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, dare, dares, daring, challenge, challenges, drinker, drinkers, drinking, drinking buddy, drinking buddies, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, bar, bartender, bartenders, bartending, dart, dart game, dart games, bar game, bar games, drinking game, drinking games
"Midnight already? Zounds! My wife will heap contumely upon my head!"
Tags:ye olde pub, ye olde bar, ye olde, language, linguist, linguists, linguistic change, linguistic changes, speech, speeches, archaic, late, get home late, getting home late, wife, wives, pub, pubs, bar, bars, bartender, bartenders, bartending, late for dinner, tardy, tardiness, run late, runs late, running late, insult, insults, insulting, yell, yells, yelling, shout, shouts, shouting, in trouble, getting in trouble
The Happy Hour II
Tags:martini, martinis, cocktail, cocktails, happy hour, happy hours, olive, olives, bartender, bartenders, bartending, pun, puns, barkeeper, barkeepers, barkeeping, training wheels, beginner, beginners, dry martini, dry martinis, put on airs, putting on airs, toothpick, toothpicks, pimiento, pimientos
"The thing you have to know about quicksand is the faster you shake the shaker the faster you sink,"
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, server, servers, barkeep, barkeeps, barkeeper, barkeepers, drink, bartending, bar-tending, tending bar, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, cocktail, cocktails, martini, martinis, martini shaker, martini shakers, shaker, shakers, quicksand, liquefaction, sinking, sink, bog, bogs, swamp, swamps, faster
"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."
Tags:common man, common men, saddam hussein, mainstream, mainstream man, mainstream men, churchgoer, churchgoers, churchgoing, unemployed, unemployment, everyday guy, everyday guys, employment rate, employment rates, recession, recessions, great recession, great recessions, great depression, modern life, modern times, bartender, bartenders, bartending
"My witness doesn't understand me."
Tags:law, lawyer, lawyers, judge, judges, judging, judicial, judiciary, jury, juror, jurors, court, courts, courtroom, court room, courthouse, court house, court of law, trial, trials, persecution, persecutor, legal, legality, legals, language, languages, word, words, play on words, word-play, word play, drinking, drink, drinker, bar, bars, the bar, barister, barrister, lament, laments, lamenting, commiserate, commiserating, commiseration, bartender, bartenders, bartending, wife, wives, complain, complains, complaining, dysfunctional relationship, dysfunction
"Make it one for my baby and one more for the road."
"Please understand I can offer you only the fleeting illusion of happiness."
Tags:alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, barman, barmen, bartender, bartenders, bartending, illusion of happiness, illusions of happiness, beer, beers, ale, ales, hard alcohol, drink away your troubles, drinking away your troubles, drinking problem, drinking problems, unhappy, unhappiness, temporary solution, temporary solutions, solution, solutions, problem, problems, problem solver, problem solvers
"I don't know, Al. On the one hand, there's no doubt that it's a made-work, dead-end job, but, on the other hand, it's also a vice-presidency."
Tags:dick cheney, vice president, vice presidents, useless, uselessness, figurehead, figureheads, occupation, occupations, dead end job, dead end jobs, make work, job, jobs, paper pusher, paper pushers, complain, complains, complaint, complaints, impotent, impotence, useless, uselessness, worthless, self-worth, prestige, prestigious, prestigious job, prestigious jobs, prestigious position, prestigious positions, bartending, bartender, bartenders, made work, bush administration, white house, cabinet, cabinets, cabinet position, cabinet positions
"I'm sorry, ladies, was this man bothering you?"
Tags:bouncer, bouncers, bar, bars, barfly, barflies, bartender, bartenders, bartending, sexual harassment, peer out, peers out, peering out, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, drunken, hit on, hits on, hitting on, chat up, chats up, chatting up, pickup, pickup line, pickup lines, guilt, guilty, guilty conscience, guilty consciences, overaggressive, over-aggressive, overly aggressive
"What are you? A money clip? Get outta here! This is a singles bar."