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'Hey, hey, hey! Wait until I toss up the ball. I want a fair jump.'
"O.K.m who overinflated the ball?"
"And if you forget who you're covering I'll be on the sidelines, in Hugo Boss, ready to remind you."
A basketball match
Heimlich's other lesser known maneuver.
'When do I learn to slamdunk?'
'Personally, I find being #1 is highly overrated!'
"As you get older, son, you'll learn there's more to life than winning. Actually, it's mostly about money."
'Dude. At least try and hit the backboard. That's the third ball that's rolled off of the dog this week!'
"College basketball recruiters are after him."
'No, Biffy! Get back here! Bad boy! Spit it out!'
'What?' 'You got him with an elbow.'
'He was a good coach. But hey, bottom line in this league? If you don't win, you get whacked.'
Maps to celebrities courtside seats
"The worst thing about getting shorter is you can't get those rebounds any more."
'Jiggles is out for the season... he broke his funny bone.'
'You're right. These are great seats."
'Now get out there and believe in yourselves! If you believe in yourselves, you can beat anyone!'
'Dart night was a stupid idea.'
'Go ahead, Calvin. Get yourself killed. I've warned you a million times about dribbling in traffic.'
'Whoa! Cool your jets. You just learned to stand erect. We'll work on the crossover dribble later. Learning basketball is an evolutionary process.'
'I can't dunk.'
'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'
In Philip's recurring nightmare, he enters the game in front of a capacity crowd and a worldwide TV audience wearing basketball shorts from the 1980s.