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'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'
'... And if pepper spray has no effect and he continues to argue the call, slap him with a technical foul.'
'Yes, but not just any wolverine. Pretend you're arguing a call.'
Basketball championship games in the future.
'You're right, Mom. It was a bad call.'
'I'm just living up to the fans' expectations.'
'It's a little joke on the coaches.'
'On second thought, you're right. It was incidental contact.'
'I'll take everything at the division line. You get the rest.'
Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.
'Must be coach Johnson's place.'
'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'
'We had a power surge, and the electronic scoreboard seems to have tapped into the CIA's computer.'
'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'
'I know the Fox 40 whistle is good, but this trumpet is better.'
'Players treat me with a lot more respect since they found out I'm a retired colonel.'
'I just love this new rule allowing you tie up obnoxious coaches.'
'I suppose this will be a CHARGE?'
'I think I'm getting my ratings from my last game.'
'Well, no, I can't seem to find a rule forbidding this, but I still don't think it's legal.'
'Have you ever thought about getting into refereeing?'