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'You, bearded lady. I ain't paying you to loaf around - oh sorry, I thought you were someone else... well, have a nice day.'
"I do believe that story gets more 'n' more interesting every time I hear it, Mr. Van Winkle! Why, a natural born performer like yourself couldn't help but make a wonderful Father Christmas in this year's pageant!"
"Put that out! It's over. And lose the goatee."
Tags:genders, gender-neutral, gender spectrum, gender neutral, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy-tale, fairy-tales, retelling, retell, parody, parodied, parodies, rapunzel, hair, male, gender identity, beard, beards, facial hair, twist, new twist, fresh, fresh twist, gender stereotype, princess, damsels, heteronormative, hetero normative, hetero-normative
"Why speculate? Get your info straight from the source!"
Tags:facial hair, beard, beards, moustache, moustaches, mustache, mustaches, hipster moustache, hipster mustache, statement moustache, statement mustache, speculate, speculations, pamphlet, pamphlets, religous pamphlet, religious pamphlets, straight from the source, self-involved, self centered, self centred, hipster, hipsters, millennial, millennials
"I've never been able to convince a mustache to move in with my face."
"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"
Tags:barber, barbers, barbershop, barbershops, hair salon, hair salons, hairdresser, hairdressers, salon, salons, beauty salon, beauty salons, hairstylist, hairstylists, hair, fur, shave, shaving cream, werewolf, werewolves, full moon, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, myth, myths, legend, legends, recurring problem, recurring problems, facial hair, beard, beards, halloween
'He's a goatee herder.'
'Movember is over...I want it off!'
"The rest of the flock and I feel you're displaying a lack of sensitivity with those 'muttonchops'."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, sheep, flock, flocks, shepherd, livestock, farm, farms, shepherds, mutton, muttonchop, muttonchops, mutton chop, mutton chops, hair, facial hair, sideburn, sideburns, beard, beards, disrespectful, insensitive, indifferent, man, men, wordplay, word play
"Call the boat, the beards are ready."
"Come one, Hon – all kinds of men have facial hair these days!"
Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.
"I've made a terrible mistake."
Peak Beard/High Peak Beard
"Good beard."..."Nice beard."..."Good beard."..."Great beard."..."Good beard."
Tags:hockey, hockey players, hockey player, hockey teams, hockey game, sports, sport players, sport teams, athlete, athletes, athletics, sportsmanship, team members, compliment, compliments, complimenting, friendly, courtesy, courteous, handshake, handshakes, handshake line, handshake lines, playoff, playoffs, sporting tradition, sporting traditions, beard, beards, bearded, facial hair, assimilation, men complimenting each other, men complimenting
"You're not a goat person?"
"Real men don't shave, but, if you have to, don't be dainty about it."
Official Team Cap With Beard
"It's not supposed to be a beard or a moustache. It's stubble!"
Identical bearded cavemen.
"Exactly how entrenched is your beard?"
"It's a soul patch, but luckily we've caught it early."
Tags:soul patch, soul patches, facial hair, beard, beards, hair, out of style, not stylish, jazz dot, uncool, out of date, fashion, fashion police, diagnose, diagnosis, doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medical professionals, medical professional, hospital, hospitals, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, doctor's office, doctor's offices, patient, patients, evaluation, trendy, trend setting, fashionable
Tags:music, musician, musicians, rock, famous musician, famous musicians, rock star, rock stars, police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, traffic stop, traffic stops, traffic ticket, traffic tickets, fine, fines, fashion, style, personal appearance, fashion statement, beard, beards, facial hair, sunglasses, word play, wordplay, play on words