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'You, bearded lady. I ain't paying you to loaf around - oh sorry, I thought you were someone else... well, have a nice day.'
"I do believe that story gets more 'n' more interesting every time I hear it, Mr. Van Winkle! Why, a natural born performer like yourself couldn't help but make a wonderful Father Christmas in this year's pageant!"
"Put that out! It's over. And lose the goatee."
Tags:genders, gender-neutral, gender spectrum, gender neutral, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy-tale, fairy-tales, retelling, retell, parody, parodied, parodies, rapunzel, hair, male, gender identity, beard, beards, facial hair, twist, new twist, fresh, fresh twist, gender stereotype, princess, damsels, heteronormative, hetero normative, hetero-normative
"Why speculate? Get your info straight from the source!"
Tags:facial hair, beard, beards, moustache, moustaches, mustache, mustaches, hipster moustache, hipster mustache, statement moustache, statement mustache, speculate, speculations, pamphlet, pamphlets, religous pamphlet, religious pamphlets, straight from the source, self-involved, self centered, self centred, hipster, hipsters, millennial, millennials
"I've never been able to convince a mustache to move in with my face."
Pick your own whiskers.
"When it fills in I'm hoping for the texture of corduroy."
"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"
Tags:barber, barbers, barbershop, barbershops, hair salon, hair salons, hairdresser, hairdressers, salon, salons, beauty salon, beauty salons, hairstylist, hairstylists, hair, fur, shave, shaving cream, werewolf, werewolves, full moon, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, myth, myths, legend, legends, recurring problem, recurring problems, facial hair, beard, beards, halloween
'He's a goatee herder.'
'Movember is over...I want it off!'
"The rest of the flock and I feel you're displaying a lack of sensitivity with those 'muttonchops'."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, sheep, flock, flocks, shepherd, livestock, farm, farms, shepherds, mutton, muttonchop, muttonchops, mutton chop, mutton chops, hair, facial hair, sideburn, sideburns, beard, beards, disrespectful, insensitive, indifferent, man, men, wordplay, word play
"Call the boat, the beards are ready."
"It's my emotional-support beard."
Tags:bar, bars, beverage, beverages, drink, drinks, drinking, emotion, emotions, emotional support, emotional-support, support, supporting, beard, beards, facial hair, depress, depressing, depressed, empathy, empathise, empathetic, compassion, compassionate, show support, showing support, meaningful, sign, signs, symbol, symbolic
"Come one, Hon – all kinds of men have facial hair these days!"
Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.
THE Shade of Grey
"I've made a terrible mistake."
Peak Beard/High Peak Beard
"Good beard."..."Nice beard."..."Good beard."..."Great beard."..."Good beard."
Tags:hockey, hockey players, hockey player, hockey teams, hockey game, sports, sport players, sport teams, athlete, athletes, athletics, sportsmanship, team members, compliment, compliments, complimenting, friendly, courtesy, courteous, handshake, handshakes, handshake line, handshake lines, playoff, playoffs, sporting tradition, sporting traditions, beard, beards, bearded, facial hair, assimilation, men complimenting each other, men complimenting
"You're not a goat person?"
"Real men don't shave, but, if you have to, don't be dainty about it."
Official Team Cap With Beard
"It's not supposed to be a beard or a moustache. It's stubble!"