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"Then I met Pamela who was drop-dead gorgeous."
"I do not have a roving eye. I have attention-deficit disorder."
Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'
'No, your eyes are perfect, but fake glasses would sure make you look smarter.'
Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).
Virtual Supermodel machine.
'i've found a search engine that gets to beautiful women in a hurry. It's not 'Google', it's 'Ogle'.'
"Can your Ted come belle ringing tonight?"
"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."
'She was beautiful but volatile. Her blood was gasoline.'
More trouble from United Supermodels of America Local 1006.
'Are you guys sure this is Sleeping BEAUTY?'
'What has he got? A shiny new, snag free kitchen, most likely!'
'I had it all, money, a big house, fast car and the love of a beautiful woman. Then suddenly it was all gone... my wife found out!'
'So, how long have you had this acute fear of beautiful women Mr Oswald?'
'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'
'My trophy wife ended up turning into a booby prize...'
Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).
Wife censors husband's daydream.
'My wife has the same measurements as Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jennifer Aniston and Julia Roberts - all put together!'
'I could look like that too, if I didn't have to spend all my time correcting your faults.'