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"We're hoping for an uptick."
"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."
'He has lost the will to plunder, money-grub, back-stab...'
"Friend or enema?"
"He said he makes housecalls, and he'll be here as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith."
'Jaundice really ought to have wiped the smile off his face.'
'Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win one for 'the gupper'.'
'Ignore him, he's got a touch of man flu, I'll pour him into bed later.'
'And it's been so long since my grandaughter visited, she probably wouldn't even know me from a wolf.'
Man hospitalized and in a full body cast is reading bedtime stories.
'This is typical of you. Lying in bed all day, expecting to be waited on, hand and foot!'
'My automatic page turner went wild, so now I'm having to learn to speed read.'
Patient and book
The doctor says I have man flu. - 'Did he give you any medicine?' - 'No. He said I should 'make the most of it'' - 'Eh?' - 'I feel soooo ill. Can you get me a sandwich?' - 'Gah!! Men are ridiculous' -
Spending too much time in bed.
'The good news is that he won't be able to sit down for a week!'
"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"
Signs - Food and water / Bucket / Bigger Bucket