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"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."
Tags:bedside manner, bed side manner, surgeon, surgeons, consultant, consultants, medical, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, patient, patients, suffer, suffering, spiritual, listen, listens, sympathy, empathy, negligent, negligence, procedure, medical student, medical students, med student, med students, training, robotic, robotics, demeanor, demeanour, eye contact
'Great news! We found a donor body!'
"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."
Tags:medical problem, medical problems, bill, bills, medical bill, medical bills, medical insurance, health insurance, health cover, medical cover, credit card, credit cards, info, information, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, physician, physicians, health problem, health problems, medical scare, medical scares, bedside manner, bedside manners
"Those bullet holes are something new, aren't they?"
Tags:bullet, bullets, bullet hole, bullet holes, symptom, symptoms, health, health concern, health concerns, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, appointment, appointments, concern, concerns, cause for concern, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, family doctor, observe, observes, observant, bedside manner, casual, casual attitude, gun crime, gun crimes, mass shooting, mass shootings, gun culture, examination, examinations, symptomatic, disease, diseases, ill, illness, illnesses
'You have a lovely bedside manor.'
"If it's any consolation, toward the end he was high as a kite."
Tags:console, consoles, consolation, consolations, death bed, death beds, high, marijuana, weed, medical marijuana, medical cannabis, morphine, liquid morphine, dark humor, death, dying moment, dying moments, bedside manner, dark humour, high as a kite, cheerful, comforting words, hospice, hospice care, hospice worker, hospice workers, palliative, palliative care
'The Doctor will see you now. Here's your medical jargon dictionary.'
"Have your pillows been plumped this morning?"
"Alright, let's Google those symptoms and see what we come up with."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors appointment, diagnosis, diagnoses, appointments, appointment, symptom, symptoms, internet, internet search, searching, searches, ill, illness, illnesses, unprofessional, clueless, unsure, web search, web searches, internet searches, search engine, search engines, technological advance, technological advances, diagnosing, bedside manner, incompetent, incompetence, patient-doctor relationship, medical malpractice, concern, concerned, concerns
'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'
"Either this is the wrong chart or- let's hope this is the wrong chart."
Tags:doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., gp, gps, g.p.s, g.p., general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, clinic, clinics, doctors clinic, medical chart, medical charts, doctors chart, doctor's charts, bedside manner, doctors clinics, doctor's clinic, unprofessional, professionalism, doctor's clinics, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments
"Make that sound again, you know, the one that makes me laugh."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bed-ridden, bedridden, check-up, check-ups, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, health check, health checks, symptom, symptoms, stethoscope, stethoscopes, bedside manner, bad doctor, bad doctors, bad bedside manner, inappropriate comment, inappropriate comments, sound, sounds, laugh, laughter, laughing, sick, sickness, ill, illness
"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."
Tags:doctor, doctors, maternity ward, maternity hospital, maternity hospitals, pregnancy, mom to be, dad to be, parents to be, parent to be, expecting, scan, scans, ultrasound, ultrasounds, pregnancy scan, pregnancy scans, high expectations, precious first born, dream snatcher, dream snatchers, bedside manner, bad bedside manner, rude, unprofessional
For some patients, Dr. Edwards would play 'Diagnosis Charades'.
"He's gonna be in and out for a while, so we should write something funny on his forehead."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medicine, healthcare, health care, patient, patients, coma, comas, unconscious, out cold, knocked out, sleeping, asleep, sick, ill, sickness, illness, bedside manner, fun, funny, prank, pranks, joke, jokes, marker, markers, doodle, doodles, doodling, draw, drawing, drawings, writing, write
"This is my wife and kids. Do you have any next of kin?"
"I'll be blunt. You don't have much time. In three days I'm turning this over to a collection agency."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, diagnosis, bad news, terminal illness, terminal disease, terminally ill, bad sign, bad health, unhealthy, terminally ill, sick, ill, death, blunt, bedside manner, bill, bills, billing, money, medical bill, medical bills, medical billing, collection agency, collection agencies, debt collector, debt collectors, debt, debts
"I'm sorry. We were unable to save the Eagle with Skull chest tattoo."
"If it's any consolation, he seemed like a bit of a jerk."
Tags:bad news, good news, death, dead, die, died, dying, doctor, doctors, bearer of bad news, be the bearer, communication, bedside, bedside manner, manners, jerk, jerks, surgeon, surgery, surgeons, terminal, lost him, hospital, hospitals, waiting room, waiting rooms, tact, tactless, tactful, no loss, no big deal, married, marriage, get well, get well soon
"I feel your pain level."
"It's a very senior moment—he's dead."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bedside manner, diagnosis, diagnoses, death, dead, deceased, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, over the hill, over-the-hill, senior moment, senior moments
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"How about if I just put a knot on your head and send you to a phrenologist?"
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, diagnosis, diagnoses, bedside manner, angry, upset, giving up, knot, bump, phrenology, phrenologist, phrenologists, pseudomedicine, pseudoscience
'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'
'Here at St Wadlings we like to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual no 76/09bt-c12.'