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"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."
Tags:medical problem, medical problems, bill, bills, medical bill, medical bills, medical insurance, health insurance, health cover, medical cover, credit card, credit cards, info, information, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, physician, physicians, health problem, health problems, medical scare, medical scares, bedside manner, bedside manners
'You have a lovely bedside manor.'
'The Doctor will see you now. Here's your medical jargon dictionary.'
For some patients, Dr. Edwards would play 'Diagnosis Charades'.
'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'
'Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding empathetically?'
'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'
"Let me check my card file for a joke about your condition."
"It's not our policy to disclose details of a future operation."
Tags:physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, doctor visit, doctor visits, doctor office, hospital, hospitals, health-care, healthcare, health care, diagnose, diagnosis, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, surgeries, bedside manner, bedside manners, consult, medical consult, malpractice, medical malpractice, policy, policies, prediction, predictions, indemnify, indemnification, national health
"You'll feel better when you see the doctor."
"Does the doctor hug?"
Tags:physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, doctor visit, doctor visits, doctor office, hospital, hospitals, health-care, healthcare, health care, doctors office, doctor's office, bedside manner, bedside manners, new patient, new doctor, changing doctor, receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, hug, hugging, huggers, personal space, personal space issues, personal space issue
'It's just a mild hyperinsulism due to islet cell hyperplasia with a touch of hepatic insufficiency and glycogen depletion. In other words watch your diet.'
Way too General Practitioner
Tags:gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, family doctor, family doctors, general, generalist, bedside manner, bedside manners, bad bedside manner, medical exam, medical exams, medical examination, medical examinations, doctors surgery, doctors office, knowledgeable, unknowledgeable, lack of knowledge
'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'
"That bump in the middle of your face - I get rid of those."
'I'll give it to you straight - This disease is almost IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce.'
'I'm afraid we've lost your husband...but if you care to take a look at our overall figures...'
"It's always best to start with a low dose and closely monitor the results."
"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."
'I've never lost a patient yet. This is my first operation.'
"Which do you want first, the good news that sounds better than it is or the bad news that seems worse than you expected?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, medical result, medical results, doctors office, doctors offices, doctors surgery, doctors sugeries, result, result, news, good news, bad news, bedside manner, bad bedside manner, bedside manners, bad bedside manners, medical issues, sickness, ill health, test results, test result
"I'm afraid someone drank your sample."
"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"
Tags:wellness, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, doctor, doctors, healthcare, health care, bedside manner, bedside manners, physician, physicians, health-care, underwear, examining room, examining rooms, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, positive attitude, positive attitudes, optimist, optimists
"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."
Tags:doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, doctors office, doctors offices, surgeons office, surgeons offices, consultant, consultants, prognosis, prognoses, diagnosis, diagnoses, search engine, search engine, internet diagnosis, internet diagnoses, search results, medical result, medical results, bedside manner, bedside manners, unprofessional, unprofessionalism, funding cuts, charlatan, charlatans, quack, quacks
'I don't have to take guff from anyone. I'm the doctor! Go out there stand up to her...'