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"The good news is that he went on a course and got in touch with his 'inner child'."
"In honor of you being a great mom, I've decided to be good. This is only temporary, as I'm only human."
Have you drugged your child today?
"I'm worried about Jimmy. He lacks social skills, craves approval, and is obsessed with repetitive tasks. We should take him to a doctor."
"This is going to be a fun year."
"Mothers Day is coming up. What shouldn't we do to make sure mom enjoys it?"
'It always was a difficult class!'
'It's not his fault. He's got SMBD - spuriously medicalised behavioural disorder.'
'With this double-shot laser gun you'll be able to nail two of the little blighters at the same time.'
"And when did this over-aggressive behavior begin to manifest itself?"
"We tried matching your child's behavioral patterns with one of those new-fangled medical condition, but it turns out that he really is just a precocious little twerp!"
"He suffers from Niceness Oppositional Syndrome..."
Glue teacher about scissors student: 'I really feel like he's about to cut class.'
'It's one of our most popular courses.'
'Darling, you remember that unbreakable toy we bought him? He's used it to break all the others...'
Dog in the Bed.
Dog steals toupee.
It is sometimes questionable that children who have an active father figure have fewer psychological and behavioral problems.
"The principal's leaving early today, Phillip, so go to the office now, and you can act up later."
"...and this is where the teachers go to get away from me!"
When Gordon Ramsay gets re-incarnated as a fly.
"You can see why, when he was 7, his parents left home!"