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"Chauncy's getting better...at least this time he only chewed up one of your slippers!"
'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'
"Just so you know, I've got the principal on speed dial."
'I'm just filing a grievance.'
'Remember, Doctor, when he was a puppy and you said he'd outgrow it?'
'Is there a child psychologist in the house?!'
'It's one of our most popular courses.'
'I appreciate your wanting me to do a stress test but what do you think I'm going through right now?'
'Tom passed a major bench mark today. His official file is now taller than him.'
It Was Inevitable: Computerized Spit-Ball.
'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'
'Would you believe I'm listening to a pod cast of welding instructions?'
'He likes to chase these little Smart Cars . . . and when he catches one, it's awful!'
'Do I get a refund on his neutering operation?'
'Hey! What happened to my chili?'
Dog steals toupee.
"A dog? No...she's got a vicious two year old boy!"
"This black karate belt is phony, but it keeps my kids orderly."
"...and this is where the teachers go to get away from me!"