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"I'm learning to capitalize on my faults."
"You lied about yoga!"
"The Benefits Agency is always willing to be flexible...but only under certain limited clearly defined circumstances."
"Sorry about the pole, but I heard you were having a two for one dent repair special and I thought I would just get the most of my money while I was here."
'An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What do you have to offer?'
'All the nutritional benefits of regular worms without the hassle of having to get up early.'
"It's a shame we can't come together and find a bipartisan solution in which our party comes out ahead."
"Who'd have thought a crease in the plans would result in an award for outstanding architecture?"
'Makes working on Christmas day all worthwhile doesn't it?'
"We have a great dental plan if you believe in the tooth fairy!"
"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."
"I'm looking for something more permanent. I'm thinking Antarctica."