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'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'
'I'm making out my will. Is there anything you want me to leave to you, other than debt?'
"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."
Tags:death, dead, will, wills, estate, heir, heirs, beneficiary, beneficiaries, inheritance, bequest, bequests, estate tax, estate taxes, state tax, state taxes, federal tax, federal taxes, tax, taxes, administrative fees, legal fees, fee, fees, share, shares, portion, portions, money, finances, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, cat lady, cat ladies, family, families, jealousy, envy, jealous, envious, executor, executors, probate
Ed had planned to leave his body to science, but science was contesting the will
'Some day son, this will all be yours...unless I get soft and leave it to charity.'
"One day, this will all be yours."
'And to my teenage grandchildren, I leave my unused phone minutes.'
'He's been frozen, and left everything to himself.'
'And to my wife, Elizabeth, who hated my guts, I leave my large intestine.'
King Lear and his Accoutant
Tags:king lear, inheritance tax, inheritance, inheritor, shakespeare, shakespeare, william shakespeare, bequest, bequests, modern life, modern attitudes, accountant, accountants, tax avoidance, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, nihilism, asset, assets, inheritor, inheritors, accountancy
'Your uncle had a very unusual will.'
Somehow it seems appropriate. He left everything to his pet goldfish.
Ned T. Hall Gift of Mrs. Alice Hall.
Tags:museum, museums, gallery, galleries, art, modern art, performance art, sculpture, sculptures, statue, statues, taxidermy, death, gift, gifts, bequest, bequests, donation, donations, donor, donors, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, unhappy relationship, unhappy relationships, love, hate, marriage, marriages, married life, unhappy marriage, unhappy marriages, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, conflict, conflicts, standing still, modern life
'I'm afraid that all Frosty left in his will is a carrot and a few pieces of coal.'
'I'm donating my body to science class.'
'...Mom said i can have it!' 'No way! She promised I get the painting!'
The last will and testement...
'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'
'Well it was his request to be burried in a flat-pack coffin.'
'Still don't know why she left half the moeny to the dogs home.'
'Mischief? Mayhem? General shenanigans? It's never too early to consider one's legacy.'
'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'
'...your father has also bequeathed your Grandfather;s place on the allotment waiting list to you, as he hoped that one day a family member may get allocated a plot'
"Spent much of his life sucking up to people. Left you all his brownie points."
I'll be gone soon, but I've thought of you all in my will... I wonder if it'll be enough to get the loft done?